A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Dear cupid; i am soo sooo confused i have been with this guy for almost a year and a half...but i dont really feel so sure about our relationship. i have his email password and once i checked his email. i know it is wrong. but when i did it i found emails talking to his cousins and saying that he get a lot of girls whenever he travels away, or asking to them to introduce friends (girls) to him. So im confused i dont know if he only does it to brag about it or because it is true. is it normal??? what do you think?? this makes me feel so insecure about us i dont know if he really loves me, i have always been secure about my past relationships but with him...sometimes i am just full of doubts. i dont know what to do..heelp!! pleaase
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male
reader, Roll Roll +, writes (15 January 2010):
Well to be honest with you a man can say that to a family member to try to show off but only you know deep down inside his true colors.. Ask yourself this! Will you be willing to give everything up because a letter? Have you seen him before with another woman? Or is he respectful. I said something like that to my brothers but it doesnt mean its true. Im faithful!
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 January 2010):
Him bragging about getting other girls, whether or not it's true shows that he doesn't value your relationship at all. If he did he'd feel the need to brag about his amazing and hot girlfriend rather than feeling the need to fabricate stories about how often he gets laid by other women. It's not a reflection on you, obviously he's just the kind of jerk who doesn't care how wonderful or hot the woman he's with is, he only cares about how many women he can sleep with, like a status thing. Also the requesting to be set up means he intends to cheat. You should ditch him immediately.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): Well.......You know what boys are like but you should talk to him about it.But DONT tell him that you logged into his emails but just talk to him like a suspicious talk.Just say like "Im not accusing you of anything but i want to talk to you" Then explain it.Then if he lies then i would dump him.But if he tells the truth i would keep him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): By checking his email there's something there that you don't trust about this guy already. WHo cares whether or not he's bragging, kick him to the curb. You need a man who is sure of himself, not needing to 1) Fill his cousin's head with lies to make himself seem better than he actually is, or 2) Be so callous that he'd actually cheat on a girlfriend while traveling out of town. On either count he'd be out in my book. If you valued yourself you wouldn't even be asking this question. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (14 January 2010):
Yes you shouldn't have looked but to be honest I've been guilty of that too and I'm sure many others have. It's not something I'm proud of and I felt so guilty afterwards that I'd never do it again. My ex-boyfriend was totally trustworthy too so inevitably I found nothing against him in his e-mails. Does your boyfriend know you have his e-mail password? If so, his actions are most bizarre. However, I've always been one for following my instinct. Regardless of what you found, if you've been feeling unsure and doubtful about your relationship in anyway then that, in my opinion, is your instinct kicking in and forcing you to think things over. You shouldn't have to feel uneasy with someone you love who supposedly loves you back. As for what you did find, whether or not he is simply bragging or telling the truth he is acting very immaturely and stupidly. If he really valued and cared about you and your relationship together, he would be boasting about YOU and how lucky he feels to have you in his life, NOT about how many other girls he attracts. I wouldn't confront him if I were you though as that will just cause a huge conflict and he will start throwing the blame for all your relationship problems at you for looking at his e-mails when really, although it was wrong of you, I get the impression that the main reason that you looked is because you just don't really trust him. Chances are there will be someone else out there for you who's going to have you and you alone on their mind. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (14 January 2010):
Him saying he gets girls whilst away sounded like bragging. But asking his cousins to introduce him to new women is suspicious. I think you need to talk to him about this relationship, and if you don't get satisfactory answers, you'll need to tell him what you found.
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