A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 8 months, but recently I feel like he can't really be bothered to see me any more. I always feel second best, and it's always me starting the conversation or making plans. Whenever he (rarely) attempts to make plans, he always cancels at the last minute with some lame excuse, yet he has the energy to go see his friends. It's been hard to see each other at the moment because i've been so wrapped up in theatre, but every small chance I got I offered to meet up, just for half an hour, but he would make up some excuse. I know he loves me, but I just want him to show me that, because right now I feel so taken for granted. I always put 100% into our relationship and I feel like he just sits around and only sees me because he wants sex. What really topped it off was on new year when we had planned a romantic night in, he texted me saying he was just going to 'pop round and see me for a bit' then go see his friends even though he'd been with them all day. I hadn't seen him for about a week. Don't get me wrong, he always supports me in what I do, and he does see me occasionally. I just don't feel like I get enough from him.Is there a chance he might be cheating?Is he bored of me? Is there anything I can do to make him show he loves me? I miss him so much :/
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I agree with Aunt Honesty, you both need to find a good time and talk about this, stress how neglected you feel, how your putting 100% into this relationship but feel he is not putting alot in. I don't think he is cheating, and he is probably not bored of you, i just think he is at that age where he want to hang out with his pals. Having said that he could still put more into this relationship that what he is putting in, so talk it out with him. If he still does not change and is still the same in a couple of months then you may want to ask yourself if he is the one for you.
Good luck
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I think he has maybe got bored off having a commitment am sure it is nothing to do with you as a person but he sounds like he is not ready to be in a relationship as he is at a stage in his life were he wants to spend most off his time hanging out with friends. He probably doesnt want to finish with you as he probably does care about you but dont let him treat you like this. You deserve to be getting so much more out a relationship than what you are getting at the moment.
You need to talk to him about this and stand up for yourself. Tell him that you are feeling neglected and that you feel he is not putting enough in to the relationship anymore. 8 months in to a relationship you should both still be meeting up and doing loads of things like going to the movies. Talk to him about it its your only option. Goodluck.
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A
female
reader, kate70  +, writes (9 January 2011):
Maybe you should ask him how he sees the relationship. Gentley tell him how you feel - find a few compromises. If he is not willing to change his behaviour consider that you really deserve better.
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A
female
reader, sweetiebabes  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 What you share with us now you can share it with your boyfriend and let him know how he makes you feel.
Your boyfriend am sure will appreciate and respect you for voicing out what you like and you don't like. I know you feel hurt why you feel he takes you for granted but it is wrong too if you assume. I can understand your insecurities reasons of your assumptions but still the very best way to sort this things out and to avoid misunderstandings is to have a heart to heart with him.
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