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Is he being mean because he's hurt and wants attention? How do I get him back?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 October 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 9 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone,

Really in need of some advice on this one. I've been seeing this guy, for a while now, and how we started seeing eachother wasn't very good, i cheated on my boyfriend of the time with him, i know thats terrible, and trust me i felt so awful. But i really felt something special for this guy, i had never felt something like it before and thought it happened for a reason.

Anyway things were good, then recently he was ignoring me, and when confronted he would make me feel bad about cheating on my boyfriend of the time. He said he didn't trust me and thought i'd cheat on him. I understand him feeling like that, but he completley turned on me, and was nasty and horrible. He was saying things like 'im not as attracted to you as much as i thought anyway' etc etc. Is he doing that because he's hurt? I still hang around with my ex because were in the same friendship group, is that why he doesn't trust me?

I feel like he's lying, i know we had something special, is he just being mean to hide his feelings so he doesn't get hurt?

Im so confused, and i don't know how to go about it? Do i ignore him till he see's sense, or do i ask to see him?

I really have fallen for this guy, and the last thing i want is for him to think i'd cheat on him.

Please help guys :( xxxxxx

View related questions: cheated on my boyfriend, my ex

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 October 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntThis one is easy.....

You came to him on flimsy pretenses (you were tired of your B/F of the time.. and the weak relationship that you two had...).....

NOW, the future has set in ... and you (both) need to try to understand just what it was that brought you (two) together...

"Sounds" (to me) like it was your disillusionment with your B/F-of-the-time.... and this guy was convenient to get you on the rebound.... and, now you (and he) are seeing that "rebound" arrangments are vaporous, at best... and now you and he (new B/F) will have to take a serious look at where you've gotten...

Don't be surprised if you (two) reach the conclusion that you should go your separate ways....

Good luck...

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (9 October 2012):

What happened was, he got swept up as you did in this relationship, but whereas you overlooked the cheating, he didn't. And it's hit him that you may well do it again. Also, because you were in a relationship, he probably saw you in a different light as to how he sees you now.

I also agree that you need to end it. He will always have a problem with all this, and in the end you'll just get hurt.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2012):

A girl that cheats on her boyfriend is liable to cheat again. Starting off a relationship in this way is never good.

Put it this way, of your boyfriend had cheated on you would you trust him?

Learn a lesson, cheating is never good!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntWell, I think he realized that a girl who will cheat on her BF might cheat on him too. Why should you have changed?

Just because you said and thought you two had something "special" that could be he think it was your "excuse" to cheat with him and how long will it be til you find someone else who is "special"

I think your best bet is to end it. And learn from this. There is NEVER a good excuse to cheat.

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