A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Over a month ago I met this guy in a bar. He seemed like a nice guy but I was not particularly physically attracted to him and I was only recently out of a six year relationship at the time and only looking for superficial relationship (so hot guys not interested in anything serious). He somehow finessed my number as I was pretty intoxicated by the end of the night and we went our separate ways despite him. Well he pretty much text me everyday that week. He was actually quite alright to talk to and I agreed to have lunch with him a week later and that's all it was. Things had proceeded like this up until list last week. Just hanging out, him texting me every day, talking, getting to know each other and a hug at the end. No sex, no making out. . . Well at this point I was actually pretty won over by his personality (he wasn't ugly, just not my type) and really starting to like him. Had a lot in common and he was able to keep up with a lot of what I talked about. We had already hung out at my place trying to watch movies and only ended up talking the whole time until last weekend. I invited him over to hang out cause I really needed company and after a few hours, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together.He had already told me that he needed to get up early so he left. The next day I get a text from him saying that he had a good time that night and was glad we hang out but before I had a chance to reply, I received a follow up text saying that he needed to tell me that he was only two months out of a three year relationship and now he's having confused feelings, that he thought he was ready to move on etc, etc, but now really confused about the situation. I asked him to elaborate since he wasn't saying he didn't want to hang out anymore just saying he was confused about his feelings. He said that he said it was a combination of excitement on where things were going but also he wasn't sure he was over his ex. He finally said he wanted to slow things down. (slow things down made me agitated since we were already going at turtle pace because of me). I told him I thought it was pretty fucked up since he had been pursuing me relentlessly for the past month and the day after I finally give in, he does this. He tells me he just needs some time to figure his shit out though he really likes me, and hanging out with me has been great and the sex was amazing. . . I was of course so confused. Never had a guy do this to me in the 10 years I've been having sex.Is he just being honest or is this just his way of ending things without looking like a total asshole. Which in my opinion he looks like anyway. . . he says he would love to continue what we have in the "near future" (whatever that means) but he doesn't think it would be right.
View related questions:
his ex, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2012): I just went through this with a man. Save yourself the trouble now and delete his number, email, and any other way of contacting him. It hurts, I know. He completely used you. You're better off. Just get him out of your life now. He will try to keep you around as an option, not a priority.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 September 2012):
 He would have been honest with you if he hadn't had sex with you. His "I haven't gotten over my ex" speech should have been BEFORE he got in the sack to be credible.
I think you were a conquest for his ego, and his sleeping with you was "objective complete". Sure, he very well indeed may have baggage from an ex (as do you!), but in this case, this is all about conquest. He used you to self-medicate, sort of the same way you were going to the bar to find casual hookups after your breakup.
Either way, blow the asshat off and concentrate on you alone!
...............................
A
female
reader, lmao1989  +, writes (26 September 2012):
 I do think that Sageoldguy1465 is right. He's obviously bailing out on you because he probably clocked onto the fact you weren't going to put out that easily and once you did he had his fix and just wants to keep you at arms length should he need another fix.
My suggestion move on find someone whose worth your time of day and worth pursuing a relationship with.
Chin up
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (26 September 2012):
 It's his way of saying, "Thank you for putting out for me.... I'll be in touch, in the future, if I need some more nik-nik...."
THAT is what some guys are all about....and you girls need to protect yourselves from guys like that.... Sorry....
Good luck.....
...............................
|
