A
female
age
41-50,
*tarsxx
writes:I am a member at my local gym and there is this really nice, kind, attractive instructor there. He has been helping me with my proggramme for about a year now.We laugh together and get on well.I know he has got a girlfriend.He hasn't told me but someone else has.He doesn't talk to me about her but we talk about other things. I have just started having him as a personnal trainer.We had our first workout last night and it went really really well.As time has gone on i have noticed that im liking him alot. Sometimes i think he feels nervous around me but im not sure it could just be me thinking that way. There has been a few times that he will come up to me for a general chit chat when we have a meeting after personnal training he doesn't just throw me out we chat (but is he just doing his job, i am paying him).The problem is he is a really nice and caring person.He will help anyone and is very good at his job. Im not sure if there is a little sign that he likes me or if he is just doing his job.Its got to the stgae where i find it hard to be around him because im thinking about him all the time.Can anybody help me please??? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): First of all, if he liked you romantically, you would in fact, be asked out by him..right. He hasn't done that. So based on that..let's get all this in perspective, dear. You are infatuated with your gym trainer because: 1) he's caring an nice 2) he works with you in a physically personal level to achieve a goal of fitness 3) he chats to you after the workout. All that you have stated does not mean he likes you anything more than as a valued client and a good friend. You have learned information he has a gf. What does that information tell you? It's apparent his romantic focus is on someone else.
Like teachers, doctors and professors..gym trainers are required to guide us and we learn from them, on a very personal, one to one level. They work with a diverse range of people ALL day. It is their job to be compassionate, nice and helpful. However, there can be some females who will mistake this helpfulness and nicety for imtimacy. But it's not. They are simply doing their job. This is slightly a distorted misconception on your part.so .stop doing that. Enjoy the professional relationship you have with him. You do sound a tad lonely and needy..try to work that through and focus yourself on finding available, single guys outside of the gym.
A
female
reader, Cupid-oOx +, writes (21 November 2007):
Do you like him?
There are a few questions you have to ask yourself,
If he is attracted to you like you say he is, maybe your doing his girlfriend a favor?!
It sounds like he does have a bit of a crush on you and if he didn't have a girlfriend im surer you'd hit it off.
But you have to consider that as he is your pesonal trainer it would be a little awkward to be seeing him aswell as it is always different when you are going out.
Think about it, maybe you two have a future together.
But remember, it could all end in tears.
Yours...
Cupid-oOx
33
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2007): Well I don't know if he likes you but you definitely like him.
Well first things first, he has a girlfriend. So I wouldn't go there if I were you, cause that would be disrespectful.
Secondly, if he hasn't asked you out, then he probably is not all that interested. I mean a guy who likes you will ask you out.
It just sounds like he has a girlfriend and he is unavailable at the time and he is just being nice cause he works for you.
Maybe if he breaks up with his girl, maybe he'll ask you out. But if he knows that you know that he has a girlfriend and you pursue him anyways, you are going to turn him off, cause he is going to see that you have no shame or respect for other people's relationships.
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A
female
reader, starfairy +, writes (21 November 2007):
 Female intuition is often right, if you get the feeling he likes you, he probably does.
But he has 3 factors he has to think about:
1) He already has a girlfriend (whether they are happy or not is irrelevant, he is unavailable and he knows it)
2) His job - he might be forbidden from relationships of any kind with clients
3) If something DID happen it would create a weird atmosphere and he probably wouldn't be able to be your personal trainer.
He obviously really enjoys your company, I would just leave things as they are at the moment. If he does happen to break up with his girlfriend at some point in the future you might think about making a move, but be careful you don't end up a rebound fling.
Just enjoy his company for the time being, if you can't be around him ask for another personal trainer. Or you could always ask for another personal trainer and try to get to know this guy on a personal level?
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A
male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (21 November 2007):
 If you know he has a girlfriend, don't pursue it. If he ever asks you out, ask him back "don't you have a girlfriend, I heard you did?" He may just have a girlfriend and if he's asking you out then one of two things are at play here: A) He's a player and just wants you for sex or B) His relationship is shaky and sees you as an upgrade.
How you can verify that would be the trick, but if his relationship is on the rocks and you seem to be the next best thing, I would cautiously go out with him, just to test the waters. But don't have sex with him. Just get to know him a while and see where his relationship with his girlfriend stands. If you’re not comfortable with it, bail out. You may also have to consider not having him as your trainer after that.
Hell if he’s that good a trainer don’t risk it and keep things professional. Keep the flirting to a minimum.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (21 November 2007):
 I think you should keep it as a business relationship. You are paying him and he is doing his job. Since you know he has a girlfriend, you should treat him as such, unavailable. If you can't stop thinking about him, you need a new personal trainer.
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A
male
reader, TomWilkinson +, writes (21 November 2007):
 Most importantly, he has a girlfriend so instantly he is out of bounds. As a personal trainer it's important that his customers like him, so he will be friendly and talkative as part of the job. BUT this doesn't have to mean he doesn't like you. The only way you would ever find out is by just asking him, which could be awkward but the only way you'll know! x
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