A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing someone for 2 weeks, and already had sex. It just feels very comfortable with him and I am in mid 40's he is 5 years older. Does that send a bad message to a man ? or is it ok if you both are really feeling were the relationship is going ? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): did you have sex on the first date, or a few dates in. i hear some guys lose interest if you don't sleep with them by the 3-5 date. it just depends on the guy, he might be cool and it doesn't bother him, or he might be a typical dude and lose interest and disappear. So just take it slow and have fun. If he backs off, let him and see if he comes back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2010): I don't think it sends a bad message at all. I got divorced from my first wife when I was in my mid 30s and dated 4 different women. I would wait until the second date to make any type of sexual move. All the women were very receptive to sex, except one who made the move on the first date. I never thought badly of any of them. My wife has told me that she wanted to sleep with me on the first date, but was happy that I didn't try.
I knew all of those women who I dated - not well, but I had talked to them and knew them for at least several weeks. What I personally don't approve of is men and women who have sex with someone who they have just met for the first time at a bar or club. That is the type of women who I avoided, although I do know some very nice women who I respect who have slept with men in that situation.
What you are doing is fine in my opinion. Get to know him and build any relationship around more than just sex, although I believe that sex is a necessary part of any relationship. Have fun and be safe.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (13 January 2010):
 You are old enough and, from what little you have written, mature enough to make that decision. I like that you indicate that the sexual activity is a true reflection of your feelings for each other. Generally I would advise to hold of on sexual intimacy until you have a strong relationship of trust and have shared emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, many of us have strong sex drives and find it very hard to wait.
Many women worry, "what will he think of me?" All I'm saying is you should know the answer to that before you get undressed.
FA
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 January 2010):
If you're both happy, and you feel it's right, then don't worry. But don't forget to continue to get to know him and such.
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