A
female
age
41-50,
*eedadvise
writes:I really need some advice, my husband cheated on me with a girl that he worked with, when I found out of course I kicked him out of our home, but we kept in touch he is a nice guy and I know that every one makes mistakes. We were seperated for 3 months, but we would go out or just talk every chance we got, he never lets me down this whole time he was still helping me financialy because I work and go to school and he told me that he still wanted to help me out. Well last week he told me he wanted to come back home that he missed me and well b/c I love him I let him come home. My ? is, he already had his oum apartment, we were still seeing each other every once in awhile, the only differance is that we werent commited to each other, the girl that he cheated with still works with him, can I really trust him, did he get it out of his system, b/c he came back does it mean that he loves me or should I be carefull cause he will do it again. I'm so confused the only thing I know is that I do love him. Please I need some advise this had never happened to me what should I do.
View related questions:
cheated on me Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): be very weary of trusting him agin. the fact that he is still in contact with his lover makes it so much harder. what stops him from carry on his affair. how do you know he ended it?
you say he is a nice guy? so nice that he betrayed you. wow i am sure every other man would want a wife to forgive them and be understanding about their affair. you are THE NICE ONE. not him. why did he cheat? what did she give him that you couldn't/ didn't. I know you just want this nightmare to end but be careful. try marriage counselling and do not try to be a martyr. show him/ tell him how devastated you are/ how he has hurt you/ betrayed you/ and destroyed all the trust you had in him. Seems like you had made it just so easy for him to waltz back in without him fully understanding the seriousness of his betrayal. it send out the wrong message.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (13 January 2010):
I have been cheated on before so I understand. In my opinion, you have punished him enough with the separation and you should try give him another chance. But you have to find out WHY he did it in the first place. He needs to be able to explain because if he moves back without you knowing what caused this then it might be repeated. You also have to reiterate your boundaries to him and the consequences of crossing those boundaries. But if you take him back after sorting those issues then you need to wipe the slate clean and not continually bring this up. Its a tough decision but it can be done.
...............................
|
