A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: 2 months old bf said he's looking for a wife ..not just a gf. Should I be worried?? We're both in our early 30's. Do you think he's moving too fast or he just knows what he wants in our relationship ? Please advice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): Wanting a wife in general isn't moving too quickly. Want YOU to be that wife is.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 If he is in his early 30s he can definitely be tired of dating and wanting a wife.
If that wife should be you, - it is early to know that for sure after only 2 months.
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A
male
reader, shawncaff  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 If your boyfriend is only 2 months old, then, yes, he is certainly moving too fast when he says he wants a wife. At 2 months old, he still poops in his diapers, so how could he be thinking about marriage?Just kidding!It depends upon the culture. In some cultures, where dating is seen as purely a testing ground for marriage and not an end in and of itself, then it is normal for a guy to want marriage after 2 months. But in Western culture, it is a little too fast. Still it is refreshing to hear about a guy who is serious and is not just stringing a girl along!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): It does seem a bit forthcoming. Got to ask yourself about those two months, though:
- Have you *both* been developing well in this relationship?
- Do you talk a lot about the future; kids, marriage, commitment, or is it just one sided talk?
- Does he seem like the insecure type?
- Are you insecure about yourself / him?
Marriage is a long term commitment (although these days, who'd have thought it, eh?). If he wants marriage with you and is 'indirectly' proposing that in the way you suggest, you need to know whether or not he is gonna be the one. If that means waiting longer to see how it pans out, then you need to break that to him now rather than later. Place the ball in his court, so-to-speak, but make be firm and don't let him try to talk you into it if it's not what you want right away, or even at all.
He could of course simply be implying that he doesn't want to wait around forever for the right one. Since the whole starting up a family thing does tend to take time, and the longer you leave it, the harder it gets.
The best thing to do is be open with him. Talk. If he wants to marry you, you need to air the fact that you want to make sure he is the right one before jumping into this. He could simply be insecure and want to know you are willing to commit to him, and marriage is one way of committing (not the best way this early on, albeit.)
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