A
female
age
30-35,
*cbr333
writes:I went on my boyfriends computer and i was going to check my Myspace. But he was already logged on and it said he had 9 Messeges. I was curious so i clicked. (I didnt find 9 new messeges) But i did find a conversation he was having with some girlThis is the actual conversation:(start reading from the bottom up)(Should I be jelaous or am I over reacting??)From: My Boyfriend really... well the summers a lil while from now. but we should hang out over the summer. but let me ask u wats wrong about me having a girlfriend if u only wanna be my friend. just wondering :)----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Some girlTo: My Boyfriendi do miss it and miss u and u have a girlfriend still----------------- Original Message -----------------From: My Boyfriend To: Some girlofcourse u were lol its hot here. maybe well play over the summer when i get back if u still miss it lol----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Some girlTo: My Boyfriendi was hoping u was single lol how is it over there i always wanted to go there so when we gonna play socker again ? i miss u ----------------- Original Message -----------------From: My Boyfriend To: Some girlcollege is good... i been living in brazil since january lol but im coming bak to ny in the summer :) were u hopeing that i was single or with a new girl? lol----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Some girlTo: My Boyfriendi been fine and shes big and beautiful but yea u still with wifey lol or what u doing with urself how is college ----------------- Original Mensaje -----------------From: My Boyfriend To: Some girlim doing good. how u been? hows ur baby? yea we havnt talked in a while.----------------- Original Message -----------------From: Some girlTo: My BoyfriendWHATS UP WHAT U BEEN UP LONG TIME NO SEE LOL
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female
reader, chimetoes +, writes (2 May 2009):
I think it is trouble....I had the same situation...still not over it...Why would they do this anyway????As far as telling him....not yet keep scoping it out...have patience. If you see something really bad said later then pounce,,,remember it doesn't get any better than what it is now.
A
female
reader, Mcbr333 +, writes (2 May 2009):
Mcbr333 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the replys. It really helped. Now, Should i mention it to him that i accidently saw it and see how he reacts or should i do nothing?
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 May 2009):
 Here's what your BF isn't getting... And it's the reason why you are pissed off and questioning his behavior...
If a girl, whether or not she is an ex or old friend, IS SOooo OBVIOUSLY being flirtatious, your boyfriend SHOULD be dropping the conversation.
That's called loyalty.
You can paint it as a totally other picture (and that's a warning sign if he does); "She's a friend/She's an ex/I'm not interested" BLAH, Blah, blah, but it'a all the same thing - Excuses.
When another person is coming on strong to you, and you are in a committed relationship, You should be cognizant of the fact that entertaining the flirtations of other people WHILE you are committed is plain wrong. Sometimes, some guys don't because they like the ego boost even when they KNOW that they are cyber-flirting.
Here's how I would handle it.
I would mention that someone was back in touch with ME and being flirtatious.
I would then gauge my delivery and how expressive I was by how he reacts to your disclosure. AND THEN; I would deliver the fact that I HAD NO INTENTION of continuing the conversation any further because I felt it undermined OUR relationship. It might be a little bit of a deception, but it does INFORM him on how you wish to be treated within your relationship, and it shows him how YOU are loyal and how you value loyalty.
I'm not sure that everyone would view this opinion with the same eye, but I have actually seen, at my age, that the RIGHT woman can have sway or influence in her mans life and benefit it immensely, especially if a guy hadn't had the guidance when he was growing up. Some people take longer to grow up than others.
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A
male
reader, Griim +, writes (2 May 2009):
 Flirting is one step away from cheating. Depends if he takes that next step or not. That, nobody can tell you.
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A
female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (2 May 2009):
 It seems as if though this girl is the only ones that's trying to insinuate some form of flirtation, your boyfriend seems like he's just keeping it friendly, there's not really a retort from his that is flirty, like as she said that she misses him, but his reply was twisting it so that it was like she misses playing football with him, I wouldn't be too worried if I was you, it's clear he's not interested :)
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