A
female
age
30-35,
*istressNataliee
writes: Hey im in a bit of a mess and any help at all will be greatly appreciated. On the 7th February i started going out with a guy called ashley, he was a bit messed up and unhappy in life but when we got together people kept commenting on how happy he now was. Anyway, it was the halfterm holiday week coming up and i was really poorly so we had to cancel plans. The first monday back at school he was really awful to me and i was on verge of tears all day. That night i got talking to another lad, Danny who i was friends with before. On tuesday i dumped Ashley and started seeing Danny. Me and Ash remained in love and flirting a little now i really want to get back with him now but i dont know how to dump Danny because he is already massively in love with me and tells me everyday. And what will people think of me if i do this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): Sorry, i meant to say Ash sounds self absorbed.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): Hi. Remember you were ill and Ash was horrible to you. Is that really someone you want to be with? Danny was there for you and he must have been nice if you wanted to go out with him. I think even you feel a little bad about dumping him now. If i were you i would give it a few more weeks because i think you might find throwing Danny away is the wrong thing to do. Danny sounds rather self absorbed, people say you make him happy blah blah but when you needed him, he wasnt there for you. He was really awful to you and upset you all day. He sounds as if he needs to grow up and a nanny would be more helpful to him than a gf at the moment. If you do go back with him, the relationship will probably always be more about his needs than yours, you realise that, dont you?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 March 2010):
The first thing people will say is that you used Danny as a rebound. Which in many ways you kind of have. You were hurt by Ash, and dumped him in favour of Danny without thinking it through. I'm not sure you're completely ready for a relationship yet, because you didn't deal with a problem, you ran away into another guy's arms and now you want to end it again to go back to the ex. You're not ready yet. My advice is to dump Danny and focus on yourself. Leave both ex's in the past and focus on yourself and your own life.
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A
male
reader, hypno1dr +, writes (6 March 2010):
You gotta be happy, so you cant go with what people will think. What i can tell you, I have one woman in the past, that i got back together 4 different times. Each time we got back together it was fine for a while, thought i was in love, and then same old stuff happened again that caused the breakup in the first place. You can dump Danny, hurt him like hell, have a great time for a while until the passion dies down with Ash, and then realize you probably made a mistake. What ever you do, you have to find happiness, so unless Ashley had something great that is going to continue from now on out, it would be silly to dump Danny on a whim, unless your shallow.
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