A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months, I'm 20 and he's 22. I live with my mom while he lives with his best friend of 10 years, and another roommate. His friend and roommate both love me, and I love hanging out with all of them. I go over at least one night a week, but I usually stay over for a couple of days.Ever since I first bet my boyfriends roommates, they've joked about me moving in. I always assumed they just wanted another person to help pay rent, and weren't serious so I just joked along with them, but after a while my boyfriend started agreeing with them and it became a serious thing.I'm in no big hurry to move in with him at all. I’ve heard enough horror stories about couples moving too fast. We don't really communicate that well seeing as whenever I'm there I'm surrounded by his roommates or his roommates friends, so we don't have a lot of "us" time. We haven't had sex yet, but we still sleep in the same bed. We haven't even said "I love you" to each other. Hell, we don't even change clothes in the same room. So I've never really taken the thought of living with him seriously.The only reason this is becoming an issue is because the lease on their apartment is going to be up at the beginning of summer. My boyfriend and his friend wanted to go back to school and find a new apartment closer to the university they're looking at. The only problem is this school is almost 3 hours away. My boyfriend really wants me to go with him and his roommate. So either I go with them, or break up with my wonderful boyfriend because I don’t think I could handle an LDR. I've been in one before and I don't think we could do it.I haven't started school at all, and I've been trying to find a degree and school to go to for a long time now, so I don't really see anything negative about looking into the university with them. Hell, the only reason my mom is warming up to the idea is the fact that I would be going to school. The living together part is what is freaking me out a little.I’ve never lived with anyone other than my mom my entire life, so this would be my first time living on my own, my first time living with a boyfriend AND my first time going to college. It’s very intimidating, and I don’t want this whole thing to turn out badly.I was just wondering what you aunts and uncles thought about this whole situation? Do you have any experience living with your boyfriend/girlfriend and going to school together? Does this seem too soon, or should I just go for it and see what happens? Any advice would be very much appreciated.The whole apartment/college thing isn’t 100% for sure yet, but it’s definitely their number one plan if they get accepted and find a decent apartment.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response! Yeah, the lack of “I love you” and sex stuff makes me nervous. I also know that we are both pretty shy so most of the stuff in our relationship moves pretty slow, which I don’t mind, but it doesn’t seem right to be in a slow moving relationship while living together. It sounds a little backwards lol.I do trust him and he’s incredibly respectful of me. Commitment is something we’re both not afraid of and willing to do, so that’s why I don’t really wanna be that far away from him if I don’t go with him. As far as his friend, I see him like 80% of the time I go over to my boyfriend’s house, so we’re pretty good friends ourselves. I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him on my own. The privacy would be a new thing for me, but we’re all pretty easy going, so I can’t really picture anything bad happening. I do worry that since I’ll be living with my boyfriend that he’ll want to leave me to hang out with his friend on his own instead of me tagging along too like usual, but I guess that’s not too bad, right?I’m just cautious because all this stuff is only what I know from staying there 2 nights out of the week, so I’m sure things could be different when I’m not around.
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