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male
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36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to come on this site to vent.I can honestly not believe how much MONEY changes people. Is EVERYONE out there obsessed with money? Do people revolve their entire lives around it?I've always worked for wages my entire life and all I've ever wanted is a job where I'm respected as a person and one where I can earn a decent wage to live on. I don't care whether I'm managing people or whether I'm at the bottom of the chain, as long as I'm happy and I have enough money to live comfortably.I've recently given up working for wages and taken a commission only sales position. There's only THREE of us in this company, but so far, I'm absolutely SHOCKED at how my boss thinks she's completely within her rights to just poach my key clients. I'm only just starting out and it's my first sales job, but so far, I'm finding the same ol scenario.. greedy, power hungry people who are only out for themselves. I know sales is competitive, but I didn't expect to have to worry about my own TEAM taking my clients, I religiously stick to those on my records and I expected everyone else to do the same.Does anyone else ever get tired of the fact that everyone's only out for themselves in this world? I'm one of those people that doesn't have any hidden agenda. If I'm in sales meeting and I sense the person hesitating over the money, I'll say, "Look, why don't you think about this .. take your time and call me if you decide it's what you'd like to do." I don't hound people or pressure people into things and I certainly wouldn't steal clients!!Ahh that feels better to get that off my chest.I'm one of those people that would give the shirt off my back if I saw someone more in need of it, even if it was my last.. and I've always been that way.. but it seems that this world is just full of selfish a--holes that take advantage of people like that.Maybe I better work on changing into one of those ruthless, selfish people just to survive and not feel so down-trodden by all the corruption around the place :( I think when you make a plan to live your life based on high standards and morals you plan to keep, the world feels draining.How do you cope? Are you someone like me, or have you learnt to survive and not let the crap people do out of greed bother you? How can you survive and still keep those principles that are important to you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2011): OP response :Thanks Deidre and Napalm, It's so interesting hearing about the experiences everyone's had, dealing with people who are obsessed with money, control and power! I've been bullied in the workplace my entire wage-working life too.. and shocked at how people manipulate their way to the top. Instead of being focussed on the money, it's more about the power and control they have over others. It seems most people are only out for themselves and whatever works for them.It's funny because I used to work in a charity and my boss was the most horrid person I've ever met. She was literally working in charity for the status.. regularly commenting in the press, taking credit for what all the actual WORKERS were achieving, while she sat on her throne making the most petty of demands and exploited all her staff.Anyway I digress. A wise woman, who wrote a book about bullying, once told me that being a sensitive person, which often means you are more empathatic and caring for others, is a strength. It's something we often feel at times in our lives we need to change. We get told repeatedly to HARDEN UP or GROW A THICK SKIN. I don't WANT to be one of those cold, hard, ruthless, self-centred people who wakes up every day and thinks, "Who can I belittle today?" or "How much money can I squeaze out of people?" How come those people don't get told to SOFTEN UP, to TREAT PEOPLE WITH RESPECT? Instead, they're taken for the norm in this worldI've never managed to climb the ladder in my working life, because I've always moved on rather than work with people like this and being miserable. You know what though, I'm happy with me.. I know I've never compromised my values or hurt anyone and I'm proud of that. Not many people can say that. You should all feel proud of yourselves too.. especially you Deidre, someone who has SOMEHOW managed to help THOSE kinds of people grow a conscience. WELL DONE!
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reader, Napalm_Angelripper  +, writes (28 April 2011):
 No, you're not alone.It baffled and hurt me when I first discovered what most people's priorities were (money and sex). It was a devastating discovery initially, as I had always naively believed that everyone shared the same morals and priorities as I did. I basically always wanted people to have a good time, was always very generous to accomplish this (exceedingly and stupidly so), and assumed that people sought out truth above all else ... which, of course, turned out not to be the case.I had to switch out my friends (who, over the years, had become drug-addicted money fiends), change my lifestyle, and actually had to become very introverted for a while. I felt jaded and repulsed by what people were, which was completely converse to what I had thought, so I did not want to be around anyone.I am someone with a lot of integrity, and I truly believe that if you don't have your values, and don't stick to your guns, then you have nothing. I consider myself to be a strong person, however, despite this, these revelations started to break down the foundation that had kept me so strong and grounded for a long time.Once I began socializing with people again, I kept myself more guarded, wasn't as generous, and didn't let myself be taken advantage of. For a long time (and still now, at this time, although it has waned over the years), I contemplated 'switching over to their side', succumbing to the weak desires that led so many other people around me. It seemed so much easier to just cut the emotions attached to the values that had been inbred in me from birth, to sell myself out, and to simply not care anymore ... ... But I knew, in the end, that had I given into these petty idealizations of what many people call a life, I would never be okay with myself, I would never forgive myself, and I would be just as repulsed by myself as I had been by these people.As time progressed, I actually met people who were similar to me, believe it or not. Not only that, but I was actually able to inadvertently CHANGE people around me, and so now, after years and years, these same people I was disgusted with, I am now proud of. But even if these people hadn't changed, even if I hadn't met other people like me, I still would've stood my ground, and fought for what I believed in, and for what I stood for. And I always will until the end :D.Seeing this post makes me feel good, as now I know there are more people out there with the same values as me. Not all hope is lost :D. We can still stand strong together in solidarity, no matter how far apart. We should take strength and solace in the fact that there are others like us, there are others out there who will begin valuing the same things as us, and for them, just for the hope, for the potential of change, we should stick to it :D.Best of luck to ya,-The Resident Metalhead
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): Yes I worked in sales, it really does ware you down, I used to be so stressed and come home crying i hated my job that much. Its dog eat dog, and the bigger the bitch you are the more you get on and that means stepping on peoples heads to get what you want.Eventually this will ware you down, because what your boss is doing is bad ethically speaking and you will become depressed,and hate your job, thats not good for your confidence. U should change career, i know its not easy in this economic climate, but maybe you could look at re-training in another area.Its true though alot of people, eat, sleep, and breath money. Personally i think theres more to life, like, health, happiness, family and friends. At the moment im unemployed and doing voluntary work and i love it,it shows you that there really are more important things in life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): OP RESPONSE:
Brilliant advice everyone! It's so reasurring to know there are still people out there, a lot of people by the looks, that try to live their life with honest and good intentions. I'm not a religious person, but I'm definitely not keen on compromising my personal standards. You're right, I think this is the wrong job for me.
Anniebeth, I'm sorry to hear you won't be seeing your brother for a long time. I too agree that the recession has only INCREASED the greed, but what I've noticed is it's among people that already have oodles of money anyway.. they just want even more!! What about all the poor people that are now homeless?
WhatToDo133, I think your story about the old lady pretty much sums up the majority of people out there. Giving money to that lady, even though you had barely enough for food for yourself, shows strong character and you can feel good about the person you are.
Cerberus, that really sounds scary.. how you had this extreme talent for what you were doing, yet it went against everything you knew was right. I think it's great that eventually you gave that up. I'm sure you sleep a hell of a lot better at night. You may have been good at it, but I guess the scary thing is if you'd kept it up, one day you'd be able to do it WITHOUT that feeling of guilt.. then you know it's changed you as a person.
Thanks heaps everyone.
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reader, shawncaff  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 The more you dig deep into most things, the more you will find greed, thirst for power and corruption at the center.
It shocked me at first too when I realized it about 10 years ago: most people really do base their lives upon lust for money, power and sex and will do anything for it.
It makes life challenging for those of us who try to see beyond that. But that's a good challenge. It gives life meaning to TRY and live a more human life. Of course, we all fall prey to that lust as well.
Only thing I can suggest is to not become one of them. Hang out with people who have your same moral standard and outlook and get strength from them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): That's the essence of sales dude. Especially commission sales. I mean come on you're just as bad as them aren't you? You're selling a bullshit product to people who don't need it who have no money to buy stuff and are in the middle of a recession to make money for yourself and your company. You know it's a bullshit product that people don't need dude otherwise you wouldn't need to go out and sell it on commission.
You're just not cut out for sales, it's has none of the qualities you listed as being important to you.
I worked in commission sales before and I'm exactly the kind of person you are. I live within my means, I wouldn't do anything for a buck and I certainly wouldn't screw people over for a buck, that's why I had to leave sales because I was actually so good at it that it scared me and went against all my principles as a person.
When I worked in sales I could get a one armed woman to buy a manual blender (I actually did that). Not only that but when one of my colleagues told me about a person that bought a lot of stuff, I went there the next day and convinced them to be my exclusive client and sold them more crap they didn't need. I was amazing at it, I even excelled at internal politics, became drinking buddies with my bosses, recommended really good clients to them instead of taking them for myself (I knew they were going to steal them anyway, so I thought it better that I gave them and got brownie points.)
I was making a hell of a lot of money and was the top earner at my company. I had no problem with it at the time at all, I thought these people were fools to buy stuff from me and if it wasn't me then it would be someone else so why not bleed them dry. These people voted for a capitalist democracy now they'll see what it means to live in and support a system that promotes money as being more important than people. I mean you'll spend 2 years in jail for murdering a child, hiding its body and pretending to search for that child with the parents (remember that one?) but if you commit fraud or steal a lot of money you'll do 10 years.
Leave sales and become a teacher, a social worker or something like that. It's not important that others respect you, every job has it's dog eaters the most important part of any job is that you enjoy it and that you do a job you respect yourself for doing.
Sales is a nasty little job, if people needed what you were selling then there would be no need to go out there and sell it to them. So while you work in sales you are exactly the kind of person you hate and unless you completely immerse yourself in that role and walk all over people then you're not going to be very successful at it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): hear hear to you man. i dont understand why people are so obsessed with it. the only thing i want in my life is to do something im happy doing. im always hearing people saying oh i hope i win the lottery tonight. its like yea ok i can see why but what will you do if you win it? splash it out on flashy cars, big houses, expensive jewllery etc. 90$ would buy only for themselves. i can tell you if i won the lottery id give a lot away to charitys or family. when the disaster in japan occured i sold my iphone on ebay and gave the proceeds to japan aiding charity. i just thought i dont need this. all i need is a phone that can call and text. if that. millions of people dont even have clean water and a supply of nutritious food. it sickens me when people fight about money and spend it so recklessly. rant over. i do agree with everything you said OP. there are a lot of selfish people out there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): I know exactly where you're coming from. It p****d me of something amazing for years thinking how people could be like that.
Every time I go into town I see it going on. For example, there was this little old lady who looked in her 70s selling the 'Big Issue' (a news paper sold by homeless people in the UK). She was in the middle of a very busy street with businessmen walking straight past her, not even acknowledging that she exists. I was sitting outside a cafe and I noticed that hundreds of people were just passing right by her. After 30mins, she started to give up, she sat down and I seen a tear roll down her face, and still, no one seemed to give a dam. I had enough of it, so I went over to her and gave her my bus money (£5) for a newspaper worth £1 and told her to keep the change. We briefly smiled at each other and I could see a bit of happiness in her eyes again. I only had £50 in my back account at that time (being a student and all) and yet I could find the money and time to spare her and yet all the hundreds of people that passed her wouldn't even recognise her existence! If I can’t help them out I at least say “Sorry I would love to help but I’m struggling myself”.
You're in the wrong employment if you feel that badly about it. You need to find something more to your suiting. Keep doing what you're doing and it'll eat at you. For me, morals and ethics are more important then money. I wouldn’t trade that in for anything.
You’re not alone out there. Just do what you can when you can, one act of random kindness at a time goes a long way.
Try to keep a level head out there man. Best of luck to you
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (27 April 2011):
 You haven't been to business school. What they teach you there is how to manipulate and fool people. They also throw in an ethics class, but then the majority of what they teach is how to do sales in a psychological way, playing on the weaknesses of people.
You aren't fit for a sales job. Not all people are able to be business people, or willing to step on others to get ahead. But plenty are, so if you are getting tired of getting stepped on, but unable to do the same yourself, this line of work is just not for you!
Find something else that suits you instead of getting gray hairs over this.
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reader, Anniebeth +, writes (27 April 2011):
 Hey ! i hear what your saying in my situation greed is in the in laws my sister in law wasnt getiing much of 'the high life' here in ireland over the recession so she and my brother are moving to austrailia it makes me so mad to think i wont see him for at ten years .i think basically since reccession has hit the system people who are struggling want it ! and those who are well off just want more to show off flashy houses and cars to us here who dont.i cope by ignoring they other people theyll only broing more pain to you if you take notice in my opinion its the littlest of things that should make people happy although i didnt live through the 80's i preety sure people didnt have alot back then but the were Alot happier .Money is a number fools count . i hope this was help to you i wish you the best ;)
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