| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been going out with my boyfriend for 4 yrs, he is 27, I am 22.Three months ago I slept with some one else, so I split up with him, but didnt tell him why and he still doesnt know.We got back together three weeks ago, in the meantime, I had slept with 5 other people which he knows nothing about. I thought I had got it out of my system though and now we're talking about moving in together.The problem is I met this guy at the weekend who I really liked, we kissed but I refused to go back to his house with him even though I wanted to. Should I just split up with my boyfriend for good, or is it ok to cheat as long as he doesnt find out?
View related questions:
got back together, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): My boyfriend cheated on me, when I found out I cheated on him. Guess what, we aren't together anymore...The word Trust or lack of it...Recipe for complete emotional disaster.
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 And may I just add, if you are asking whether its ok to cheat providing they dont know, that would be true of every criminal offence and every evil on the world in that case, its ok t drive at 60 pmh down a 30mph road, and injure someone but as long as they dont find out it was you, then its also ok to start World War II providing they dont know its you, my dear you are asking an absurd question. Please, please please do the right thing and stop the cheating. xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Got to ask you a question what if the boot was on the other boot how would you feel? no i.m.o. its wrong and not fair on your b/f !!!
...............................
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (21 August 2006):
Is it ok to have sex with other men and then be with your boyfriend so long as he doesnt find out, thats what you are asking isnt it. So is it ok to steal from your parents so long as they dont find out, is it ok to rob the old lady down the street every time she leaves you in charge of her house so long as she doesnt find out? Is it ok to talk about your best mate behind her back to others so long as she doesnt find out? Do I need to go on, or is it clear? My dear girl of course you know you cannot cheating, you are not so ignorant as to know that this behaviour is not normal. Ask yourself why are you doing this, why? Its clear you are not satisfied with your boyfriend so why oh why oh why are you with him? Its best if you stay single for a while and work out what is going on in your head first. Take care. xXx
...............................
A
male
reader, Andy J +, writes (21 August 2006):
 blimey...lol...u need to stop cheating on, jesus, its the worst thing u could ever possibly do.
u need to think about what you want, weather u want to seriously be with him, or weather you want to have the single life and keep seeing the other blokes.
but seriously though, cheating on someone is so harsh...just think if it was the other way round?, dont think ud like it would you?...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): The answer to your question is no I think that cheating is the one of the worst things you can do in a relationship and i think that you should come clean to him about everything you may not get back together but at least you then can have a clear mind! Also he will respect you at lot more if you told him! As well i would go to the clinc and get checked out for any STI just to be on the safe side. You must be missing something in the relationship and you should sort it out maybe go on holiday. you have two choices either leave or be faithful as no one deserves the pain that you go through when you have been cheated on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Alasmar +, writes (21 August 2006):
It is ok as long as he cheats on you as well.
My dear woman, what are you saying? In other words, you want to go around and do what ever you like, sleep with who ever you like and expect to come back for the same boyfriend.
However, there is no boyfriend-girlfriend relationship in any religion. What ever you are doing including what you call a boyfriend is your own way and your own believe and I see no point in asking any body for an opinion.
You have taken the risk of doing what ever you are doing. With out being careful of any diseases, religion, culture etc.
...............................
A
male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Try reversing the situation.
How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing exactly what you are doing?
You are currently running the risk of ruining everything you have built up together.
I think it is despicable how you are treating him.
Do the guy a favour, break up with him and let him find loyalty somewhere. He is going to hate you if he finds out. Especially that you are willing to carry on with this behaviour. You can destroy this guy if you carry on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Er I think you already know the answer.... NO its not okay to keep cheating on him so longs he doesnt find out... You dont want to be with just him that much is obvious... do the right thing and let the poor guy find someone that isnt going to dump on him... If you truly wanted to be with him you wouldnt be cheating, or you what at least try and identify why it is your doing it.. if your missing something in your relationship work it out, dont take the easy option and cheat... its not fair on him, he will probably be very hurt... anyway, its rare that cheaters dont get found out so you could be headed for a fall if you dont act now. If you dont want him and it seems you dont, then let him move on... at the very least work out why you want to cheat... ifyou cant be faithful then hes not the one for you... you should be finding ways to grow together not have a bit on the side... you owe to yourself and to him to finish this or it could be very very messy. It doesnt deserve to be cheated on no one does, do the right thing... either stop and fix whats broken or leave!
...............................
|
