A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey,Well theres this chick i like we are really good friends anyway although we havent known each other for a long time she says that im the only person who is genuinely nice to her all the time and that she feels im the only person she can be herself around and not feel stupid and that she can tell me anything. Well theres this guy that likes her and she likes even though he is a complete jerk to her all the time and she even admits to his wen im talking to her wen she is upset because of him. Every time she sees him even if nothing happens she says she feels bad about even talking to him after its happened. Last night we had an argument bout him and she said that what i say is true and that she trys to listen to me but when hes aroun its different and she doesnt use her head. She than siad she doesnt want to fight with me r lose me cos i mean so much to her. what i want to know is what are reasons that she doesnt like me over him he is a complete jerk to her all the time and she even says tht she fears for her safety with him as he is a psycho. I have witnesed this first hand when i told him to stay away from her as she didnt want him near her and he pulled a knife on me. and when i am so nice to her even wen i want to say something o her ill bite my tongue is it because im to nice?? or have i just completly over shiot and ended up in the friend zone and have to sit by while she gets hurt by this jerk Reply to this Question
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female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (8 October 2009):
 This girl has an incredibly low sense of self esteem and on some level believes that she deserves to be treated this way by this guy. I don't know how much time it will take for her to reliaze otherwise. On the one hand, I praise you for wanting to stand up for her.. that is really many of you and pretty heroic to stand up for the weakk. But on the other hand... you deserve better. You see, she is not able to grasp how valuable you are, because she doesn't realise how valuable she is... there's nothing wrong with you... its her.. and until she gets her act together she's only going to keep going for jerks like that and pushing precious guys like you away. But that's not your problem. Be there for her if you feel you must, but its a shame for a beautiful guy like you to waste your youth... go find some one who'll appreciate your love and your heart young man... just remember. a pretty face doesn't neccusarily mean she's woman enough for you
A
male
reader, Moretti7  +, writes (8 October 2009):
Hey mate, although i'm a bit older than you i've been in a similar situation recently. My ex went back to her ex who completely controlled her life, she wasn't allowed to have a mobile phone or any friends except his.
Sounds like this girl is pretty similar, she sounds insecure. Insecure girls often go for guys who don't treat them well, it's almost as if they feel that's all they deserve. Does this girl know how you feel about her? If so why don't you tell her. Otherwise she may always just see you as a friend. At least you'll know where you stand then and can move on. No reason why you can't still be her friend. Telling her how you feel may well plant the seed. If she knows how you feel though and keeps coming back to you with her problems then it may be worth stepping back a bit. You have your own life to lead, you're so young. You sound like a good guy and there's no reason to change who you are, if this girl was not meant for you then start to look elsewhere. All the best.
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