A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How should I be if I want a certain guy to like me. Normally, I'm really loud and competitive at school, but I think that's only to attract attention. There is this girl at school who's beautiful, smart, and sweet to everyone, unlike me, and that's why so many guys like her. I'm still being myself, but how should I act towards people that would make them want to be with me more? Is being loud, obnoxious, and competitive a turn off to people, especially the guy I like? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Boys like sweet. kind, caring girls who listen to them and normally behave in a feminine controlled manner. They do not like loud, noisy, obnoxious girls. I understand you are trying to find yourself but you need to tone it down a bit. They are also attracted to selfless girls who put themselves out for others and girls who never say a bad word about anyone else. If you are very good looking you may get away with it for a while but in the end men prefer caring, sweet qualities in a woman. I should know I was a stunning super bitch and it got me nowhere in the end.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 January 2010):
I can handle loud, I can handle competitive, but not obnoxious. That I just find tiresome and intimidating, and I imagine most other guys do too. there's no problem with being outgoing, but being obnoxious is very scary, because guys will just think you don't give a damn at all. All you need to do is calm down. Ask yourself why you need the attention, and then you can just be a little less obnoxious because you'll understand why you are like you are.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 January 2010):
Yes, typically guys don't like loud and obnoxious girls. Same way girls don't like loud and obnoxious guys. It can be intimidating to even want to talk to someone like that, it makes you think that they're going to start talking over you and acting foolish or even start criticizing you.
There's a difference though between being loud and obnoxious and being outgoing. You can still be outgoing, but be friendly, pipe it down a little, and know when to quit when you start getting on other people's nerves. Hopefully, it's something you grow out of, and I'm sure you will especially if you recognize it now. You may just have some growing up to do and you'll be able to find your balance.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (28 January 2010):
 In a nut shell, ...yeah, I think that would be a turn off. Maybe try to get to the root of why you feel you need to seek attention. If you can figure that out, then maybe you can resolve it, feel more secure within yourself, and tone the loud, obnoxious side down a bit. You have seen youself, it is the quieter, sweet girl that has all the guys attention.
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