A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I am a gay 22 year old and I live in England. There is a guy who has liked me for months, I've only liked him for a week (before last week I really wasnt interested despite him telling me how much he cares for me as a friend and a romantic interest) he is 16 years old. It came about when we were watching a film and he kissed me, then I kissed him back. It did not go on to sex, it was just kissing and cuddling, holding hands while watching a movie. now as this is England, the age of concent for homosexual and heterosexual couples is 16, so I know the law wasnt broken...We are not a couple, but if things progressed to that point, would this be an immoral relationship? Is the 6 year age gap at our age an issue? and do you think it could cause problems?(We are both born in October so it is almost exactly 6 years difference short of a fortnight)I kinda feel weird about this because for the reasons of immaturity and everything, I personally go for the older man myself, my last ex was 6 years older than me, and the one before that was 5 years older. Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): hey guys. I am the original poster of the question. I dont work in health and social care. But me and the guy have decided not to take it any further, just because of some complicated differences that are little to do with the ages. Hes not dating someone his own age, and I'm now dating a guy 8 years older than me. lol
Thanks for all the advice :-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2009): Legally there is no problem regarding your age, however if you are employed within education of social care for example you would most certainly lose your career
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (19 December 2009):
 everyone is different do what feels right for you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): Hi guys, thanks for the advice so far.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): It depends on the individuals so just take things as they come... maybe the reason why your other boyfriends are now your "ex"'s is because you are more compatible with someone who is younger, and you would assume more submissive and would let you be in control, look up to you (perhaps subconsciously) etc. Just let things happen I guess... I am sixteen, like your interest - just a little older and I have only been attracted to considerably older people (and of a very exclusive range even then...), and sometimes their condescending attitudes upon disclosing my age (I don't lie I hasten to add - it just doesn't come up) can be rather frustrating. As it happens, my closest friend is a very mature girl a year younger than I am and we have the best conversations. ;)I guess it also helps that we can have our little jokes about ephebophilia and so on when we go out together plastered in make up... not to attract men actually, more on an artistic level, however for obvious reasons people conceive it wrongly. :/
Sometimes it's just refreshing to be the "older person" for a change... xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): I dont think your age gap is immoral at all, he is of consenting age and allowed to make his own decisions. His parents might be a little worried about the age gap, he is after all in their eyes their boy.If you do truly have feelings for him, go at his pace and see how a relationship goes. You may very well be his first love and you could really give this guy a happy time. Even if you dont last forever, you could make his first relationship be filled with fond memories and happiness.Maybe chat and ask how his family would feel and then also how your family would feel. You could cool things off and remain as friends, helping find someone his own age and giving him advice. But if you feel strongly for each other then meet his family as it will prove to them that you are serious for each other and it will give them a chance to get to know you and see your intentions are honest and full of love.Take Care, whatever happens good luck.
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A
female
reader, Frenzotic +, writes (13 December 2009):
 Personally I think the age gap is the issue with regards to maturity. Obviously at 16 we believe we know everything etc but I think you guys should give it time for the relationship to mature and for the other guy to mature emotionally, psychologically etc... this is not to say his feelings for you are invalid but to let everything mature a little longer until things are a little more...firm-set?
The only problem, if you see it as a problem, is public views, how your friends and family will respond etc
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