A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi agonyaunts,I was married for 4 yearsAbout a year ago I my husband died from a disease!my life has become a mess since,every day I decided I would do something productive but all I do is wear his shirt and cry myself to sleep..everything reminds me of him in this house and I'm planning to move out but then I'm not ready to let go of the things that belonged to him..my friends have been trying to get me into the dating scene again but I don't,even if I do go on dates I tend to talk about my husband..I have been going for counselling but it doesn't help much,I feel good that minute but then back to square one!about 2 months ago I met one of my boyfriends friend and he's been very supportive lately,and come over for dinner get me back into the social world..he asked me to come on a date with him?I don't know if its a good idea cuz on one side I want to get away from my husbands memories and on the other side I date his friend?!I know he's not with us anymore..but..what do you think?should I go out with this guy? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): Go on a date and start as friends-he will respect your grief these things take time and cannot be hurried however by getting out and about whilst you will never forget your husband time is a good healer and it will get easier and you will know when it is time to have another relationship meanwhile dont sit in crying-because that is NOT what your husband woudl want you to do is it-he would want you to have a life albeit a slowly slowly one
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (13 October 2012):
 I'm sorry for your loss -- that must be a very difficult thing to go through.
Everyone grieves at a different pace. No one can tell you when you ought to be done. Dating will only be a pleasant experience and an emotionally healthy thing to do when you're truly ready. If that takes another few months or years, that's what it takes. Don't let anyone rush you.
That said, going out with friends socially is probably a healthy thing for you to do. If you isolate yourself it will be harder to get back into the swing of things when the time comes.
My best wishes to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2012): Hey, first of all I'm sorry for your loss no one deserve something like that to happen to them. As for you to start dating again I think thats fine but you just don't seem ready for it. It's good that your friends are trying to get you out there again iknow they do it cause they care about you but it's really not a good idea Untill your ready. Your husband probably would want you to start dating again he would love to see you happy. No one is saying that you don't love him or your replacing if you start to date. Just make sure your ready and happy, if not dating will be miserable experience and will probably make dealing with your husband death even harder. Soo good luck I hope when the time comes you find a wonderful guy!
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