A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm just wondering... is 21 too young to want a baby?I've been with my bf for 4 years.. we live together and lately ive been wanting to have a baby, thats all i think about all the time... parents wouldnt like it too much i know that... i dont have much of a relationship with my mom so i cant talk to her the only person i talk to is my bf, hes 25 and he said hes ready when i am cause he wants one also... or is it when you hit a certain age and you body wants one.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): you know when youre ready...
its natural to want to have a baby i just turned 20 and im thinking about it....
but YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
will you be able to give your baby what they need in life?
do you know you'll have the money for things like gymnastics? or piano classes or whatever else your kid might dream of?
do you know his dad will be there for him/her?
do you know you will be able to be there for him/her?
HAVING A BABY ISNT ABOUT YOU, ITS ABOUT THE KID AND WHAT YOU MIGHT PUT HIM or HER THROUGH if YOU DONT HAVE WHAT IS NEEDED to make your kid happy
i grew up worrying about what was gona be in the fridge next week...it wasn't fair
i grew up worrying about whether or not my mom and dad love eachother and what it means about me if they dont...it wasnt fair
i grew up wishing to be good at something never having the money to learn nothing....and it wasnt fair
not i slave away in school just to make sure my mom doesnt die working in a shoe store
MAKE SURE YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF THE KID
and if you want to do a test run ...heres an idea..adopt a foster kid for a few days and see if you're someone who enjoys it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): It depends on the woman I always think. Some women can be ready at 18, some still aren't when they're 30!
I, personally think 21 is still too young to have a baby.
But, if you feel you and your boyfriend are 100% ready physically, mentally AND financially to raise a baby then it's your choice. Just remember you still have many, many years yet. So what's the rush?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): my first baby I had wehn i was 30 although I always knew I wanted children. My sister however had her first when she was 18 (not planned), she had been with her partner for 3 months. They are now happily married with a 6 year old and a 18month old. Having children at any age is something that will alter your life forever. If you feel you are in a stable loving relationshyuip, your partner and you both want the same things I don't see age as being an issue. You will learn so much from being pregnant and being a parent, it is one of the most rewarding, hard working roles you will ever take on in life. Only you and your partner know the answer as to whether you are both ready, I don't think you should focus on your age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): As long as you can take care of both yourself ands the baby then it's fine :)
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A
female
reader, StraightTalker  +, writes (14 December 2010):
Age is not the only aspect of whether to have a baby or not. Its about where you are in your life. Some 21 year olds like you have a stable relationship, own place etc etc. some are single etc. You need to evaluate where YOU are in your life and use your head AND your heart. Ask your self these questions: Is your relationship happy and stable? I mean REALLY happy and stable? Are you wanting a baby coz you think it will improve your relationship? Do you have your own place with your boyfriend? (I strongly recommend that you dont have a kid until you already have your own place and KNOW that you and your partner can live together as living together is very different from just being together)Do you have or want a career? You have to balance things out. You dont have to have done EVERYTHING you want to do with your life before you have a kid otherwise you will never have one. For example I have a baby and I started college when I was pregnant and I still go now. I dont drive yet and when I have lessons I will always have to find a babysitter or fit it around my partners work. There will ALWAYS be a reason NOT to have a baby. My point is that you need to realise that once you have a baby, you can still do things you want but it will be alot more difficult as you have to revolve EVEERYTHING around that baby. Are you mentally ready for that?
No one can make the decision for you. Just remember that once you are pregnant, there's no going back. If you KNOW that you and your partner are definately ready, its none of your parents or anyone elses business.
Sorry if I contradicted myself I was just trying to tell you things from BOTH points of view, reasons for and reasons against...and you should do the same in depth.
Good luck in whatever you decide :-)
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female
reader, kalykush  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 well to be honest yes it is kind of young. however, i had my first child at 18 and then 22. sometimes i feel like i cheated myself out of my wonderful carefree years. i do not however regret my children. i just sometimes think if i would have waited then things would be easier.
like someone else just said. if you have to ask yourself if youre too young then you probably are. even if you've been with your bf for 4 years that doesnt mean you are mentally ready to handle this.
do both of you work do you own our own place how would you be able to work and afford day care, diapers, formula clothes, gas etc etc... these are the things you should be asking. if you decide after the baby you dont want to return to work can your bf support the 3 of you on his salary?
ask yourself those questions and think long and hard about it before you committ to being responsible for someone else the next 18 years.:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2010): I've heard that even women who are completely turned off by the idea of having kids and raising them at a certain point in their lives, almost physically feel that biological clock a- tickin'. Just how we're programmed, I guess!
I anticipate that you two will eventually have children. You need to understand what a great investment it is (and an unpredictable one at that; you never know what you're going to get, no matter how stellar-ly you parent. Possible unpredictable future life changes, social or financial or whathaveyou could also contribute to the riskiness), a Life- Long one, and how much it changes relationships when two become three (or more). It could be that you become one very happy family; it could mean that conflicts and stress could tear you apart. You may feel that you'd love the addition Now and it could only be for the better, but then it may also be nice to wait a while and enjoy just each other for the time being. Once you have kids, there's no going back to the freedom of couple- hood! You'd be a family and life would change immeasurably.
But if do you both want kids NOW, there's no problem in starting to try for it at your age (plenty of people like the idea of being young parents for their kids).. but make sure you think long and hard about it and are Very Sure in your joint decision. It is a very serious one! You are adults and your parents opinions on your own responsible choices don't necessarily matter that much, if you are sure of yourselves.
-Tante Victoire
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A
female
reader, breanaka +, writes (14 December 2010):
Honestly, 21 is a little young... and I'm a 21 year old mother. If you're asking if it's too young, then it probably is. When you feel you are truly ready to have a baby, there will be no doubt in your mind. I wasn't ready, but things happen. Just make sure, if you have the choice, it is exactly what you want.
But also, you'll want to have a stable home with much support. Because no matter how much you might want a baby, it is hard work.
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