A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this short. Basically I started dating this new guy b/c of a blind date thru his dad. It's been going great so far, and he lives an hour away so I know nothing about his history except what he and his friends/family has told me. Anyways, he has had 2 gf's before me- one of 4 years, and one of 2 months (he says.) On our first date he vented to me about his crazy ex (the one of 2 months) and how he recently got his number changed to avoid her. I'm not at all threatend by his ex of 4 years b/c ive only heard bad things about her from his friends/family. The girl of 2 months however, ive only been told by everyone, including him, how they were the male and female version of each other and the PERFECT match. You can see how thats a little intimidating.Recently I found out that he gave her his number again and texts her all day every day. I havent gone a day since without him talking about her. I havent shown concern towards him yet about it b/c i want to be understanding. he tells me he hopes i dont worry b/c they are just good friends. I do believe him b/c without me saying anything he tries to make me feel ok.So something happend so he went from hating her to now being best friends with her since we started dating. Now hes been pushing the idea of a double date with her. I dont want to see their "perfect" personalities in action together. Also, she is a HUGE flirt he told me so why would i want to see that? Am I right to be concerned? Could something weird be going on? I just dont know what to think.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 It is like sleeping with the enemy or the enemy under your blanket. This situation is quite untenable .If you don't enforce your limits and boundaries, you may soon say goodbye to your b/f.
What's to prevent them from moving back into their comfort zones?
Your scheming b/f is testing your limits of endurance and patience.
If you are uncomfortable or concerned , you should voice out your feelings to him . If he cares and loves you , he should not do those things that displeases you .
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 You have every right to be concerned and this situation is based on your trust for your bf, which if you have not been dating for too long then the trust just isn't there for something like this. Tell him staight up that you are uncomfortable with her being around him and that you do not want to see her or hear about her all the time. You can't tell him to cut contact completely but there's a difference between friends and obsessive on the other girls part. If he doesn't respect this then maybe you need to consider if he is right for you and over this other girl.
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