A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, I need an interpretation of post-first date communication, please! I went on my first date in 9 years today (split with my bf of 8 1/2 years 6 months ago, took a long time to feel better and get the confidence to date again). I think it went really well-we talked for ages, had lots in common, time flew by, he was good-looking, interesting, occasoinally subtley flirty but polite, and a real gentleman. Anyway, we lost track of time and kinda had to hurry to get home, so it all finished quite abruptly, with him saying he'd really enjoyed the day and that he wants us to keep in touch. So I got home, and he'd emailed to say he was annoyed that we both had to dash off, couldn't believe how quickly time had gone by, that it had been great to meet me, and that it would be great to keep in touch. Can anyone interpret this for me? It has been so long since I dated that I'm not sure what to read into this. I'd also like advice on how best to reply. I'd like to see him again and see what happens, but perhaps that's not what he wants by saying let's keep in touch? If he wanted to see me again, wouldn't he have said that instead? Thanks so much for your advice, and sorry if this all sounds a stupid question-I guess I'm just trying to build up my confidence again. x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): (Original poster) thanks for the opinions - you're right, I will just relax about it all and see what happens :)
A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (2 May 2010):
Well I'd find this a little confusing too...if he emailed you right after, then that definitely shows a lot of interest...but then he says he wants to "keep in touch." That's kind of stupid of him to say. Either he's trying to sound casual about it or he's saying that he had a good time and maybe he'll contact you when he feels like going out again. Most guys try to set up a second date when they contact you as fast as he did.
Just write back that you had a good time, thank him for dinner (if he paid), and that you agree that you should keep in touch. Keep it simple and definitely don't start gushing and tell him you hope to see him again or something like that--then he'll think that you're waaayy too into him and that gives him the upper hand.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 He sounds too casual. Either he's not looking for a long term relationship or he's dating other women. If you were his first choice he wouldn't have replied like that. He hasn't found one he's too crazy about so he still wanted to keep you on the waiting list. He's still shopping around. You can do the same too. Move on to the next one. You will meet a lot of nice, polite gentlemen. Only go for the one who sweep you out of your feet. If you found the right one the date would last much longer than an evening, and that the next date would be planned the same night, or you would go see his place, if he's brave enough and you feel comfortable.
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A
female
reader, SeaCalm +, writes (2 May 2010):
Well first thing is....relax!!!!!
second is don't read anything into it..if he likes you he will arrange another date and you can take it from there..if he doesn't then move on....if you want to get your confidence back accept dates from others..on a no sex basis. remember that you've only had 1 date, at the moment it means nothing it is just the beginning, enjoy yourself and remember what dating should be...fun!...not torturous
Good Luck
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 May 2010):
 I think its very clear that this man enjoyed your company and WOULD like to see you again. Congratulations!
Just send an email to say you enjoyed your time together and you look forward to your next meeting. It shouldn't take him too long to suggest a second date.
Just relax, get to know him - and give him a chance to get to know you - and take it slow and easy!
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