He goes back and forth between me and my ex and I'm very confused!

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

need advice please help. I came out of a 3 year relationship and he wasnt very nice i started goin out with friends enjoying myself when i met this lad we hit it off an was txting all the time meeting up he had just come out of a relationship to and had a daughter with this girl.they had been split about a month she was constantly txting and trying to cause trouble. I started this job only on agency so only did a week, i didnt go to meet this lad for couple of days due to finishing late. Then when i was meeting him again somehow his x got my number and txt me saying he had been sleeping with her the last couple of days i confronted him and he said it was true i was quite upset and he said i didnt know what you were up to you wasnt coming to meet me the x come down and it just happend. I went home and he wouldnt stop ringing and textin me asking me to come and talk. I know it seems stupid but during those days i went with my x aswell its no excuse bt i was confused he was my x of 3 years and this lad was new bt i realy liked him. Anyway i went to his and we spoke he said it wouldnt happen with her again and he wanted us to give it a go. To be honest i wanted to aswel! So we did he stayed away frm her apart frm seeing his daughter and even changed his number to stop the constant texts. It sounds strange but she had my number and had to sort out seeing his daughter that way. Pretty quick bt after about 7 months he asked me to move in and i did. Everything was good we spent all our time together. After about a year and half things started to change. He smoked weed since the age of 16 and now in his 20s he smokes it everyday started having mates in all day everyday. I was going to work everyday and i think hes only had 3 jobs since we haue been together and they never seem to last longer then 3weeks.i noticed everytime he didnt have weed he would be nasty and say horrible things then when had some weed would say sorry for what he said. He would text me when i was at work and even have tea waiting for me some nights.the x come up a couple of times drunk causing trouble and we even had to ring the police to move her. This did stop bt i always had this feeling that she wanted him stil. When me and him fell out for aweek and i went to my sisters she was even texting me sayin bad stuf about him even said she would txt him and ask him whetha he would give him and her anotha go just to see what he would reply. Sounds mad bt i told her to just to see what he would say. Hes reply was something like bit to soon as only been split a few days but that hurt because it wasnt actualy a no was it? I couldnt help myself and i rang him saying i know what shes just asked u it was a setup. Yet again he was saying he loves me and didnt even say yes. Anyway we did ge bk 2getha and after 2and half years it got quite bad we did more arguing then tlking and he was always with friends felt like only got him on his own when got into bed.we did split after a big fight. I moved my stuf and i actualy went abroad for a month and half i came back myself again happy and laughing i was so down before. I found out he actualy started meeting his daughters mother 2 to 3 weeks and even moved some of his stuf to her house but stil had hes flat to. They lasted about 6 weeks as far as i knw. This did hurt how could he do this so quick after we split? Anyway august time me and a friend met my x and his couson we had been split nearly 3months. We got drunk and i spent the night with him i prmised wouldnt get attached again bt to be honest hes all i thought about bt i kept my cool and didnt get in touch bt neither did he! About a week later i bumpd into him in the town and he said didnt have credit.after that day we started to meet quite often. I just got my own place but he asked me to come stay the weekend so i did i shouldnt of looked but i looked at his facebook and saw messages sent to her during that week after we met4 1st time and didnt have contact. He was asking her if she wanted to meet 4 bit of fun she replyed no and she wasnt going 2 b used. That hurt me to see this after he had met me again y didnt he message me asking me to meet wasnt he thinking of me again? I knw he had no cred bt cud of found a way. He says hasnt been near her since they split and since he met me again. Bt the secnd time me and a friend went to his a few of us drinking her pj bottoms were lyin next to washing machine we ended up arguing and he said they had been at the flat since she was staying here when they was seeing each other again bt i never saw them when i was at the flat a week before. Any way we met again and have been together 9months again now bt i am stil asking myself these question i have asked in this. He is nice but only when he has weed he gius me cuddles and calls me his babi. He addmits his addicted to weed and that comes before euerything. I just realy dont know whetha he loves me.y didnt he mis me when we split and he hardley tels me he loves me im stuck.he tels me to get out sometimes and i never want to go home. Sori i have said so much i just need as many opinions as i can get xx

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