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Intense urge to have babies...and I'm only 15!!

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 February 2011) 7 Answers - (Newest, 26 February 2011)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

I want a child, but I am too young; what should I do? I am only 15, but I feel very intense urges to have many children. I have been able to have a child for 5 years, biologically, and I have been in puberty for half my life, but it is only in the past two years I have these extreme longings. I want my future children, if any, to live wonderful lives and childhoods with a nice home, a stable mother who is married to their father, and everything else that they need. I know it will be difficult to have this as a baby with a teenage mother, and I don't want that to happen... I want to grow up and get married and make a lot of money before I try to have children, but I am afraid that my judgement will suffer from the extent to which I would like a baby. Childcare jobs only make me jealous. What do you think I should do? It is getting more difficult to resist sexual advantages knowing that they could get me pregnant. Is it even normal to feel this way?

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A female reader, janetlovegood United States +, writes (26 February 2011):

janetlovegood agony auntI know exactly how you feel. I'm 14 and have been dying to have a baby. I also want my children to have a great life too. My friends feel the same way. It's pretty normal to feel this way. I'm planning everything for my future children and they probably won't be born for another 10 years. Just watching pregnancy T.V. shows makes me a little jealous. Don't worry. It's normal. My friend had it so bad she started feeling like she was pregnant! You dont have a thing to worry about.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011):

It's natural to want babies at your age.

So what? The fact that it's natural has nothing to do with it being a good idea.

People are full of natural urges. Sometimes they are helpful to us and other times they are absolutely not. Sometimes our natural urges will get us into nothing but trouble if we give in to them.

If you wanna be an adult then you need to learn to do what is best for yourself even if your natural urges might want something else.

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A female reader, becca emma louise United Kingdom +, writes (12 February 2011):

i know exactly how you feel! i fell pregnant at 13 and miscarried and it the worst experience of my life... ever since i've wanted a baby, and find myself in tears at the mention of anything related. at first i thought it was a phase but here i am almost two years later feeling exactly the same. i have to admit i have given into temptation in the hope of falling pregnant again. at times im glad i didnt but at times i feel it wouldnt matter. im not advertising teen pregnancy as a good thing coz it is tough, but im not saying its wrong either. a lot of people are far too judgemental! being an adult doesnt make you a good parent just as being a teen doesnt make you bad. it would be a struggle, so dont think about it unless you know you'd be supported. if you love your child its enough! but you could find a guy who would stick by you and feels the same, dont resort to promiscuity, it can be dangerous! dont let this get you down, if it happens then congratulations... you'll be a fab mom when the time comes :')

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A female reader, NoControl United States +, writes (12 February 2011):

NO, it is not normal to feel that way at 15! You need to seek some advice from a therapist before you ruin your young life. Concentrate on school, sports, music, other activities to occupy your mind and time. Get fullfillment elsewhere in a positive healthy manner. Not by having a baby.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011):

I know exactly how you feel. I get them too. I find myself holding and caring for my sister's dolls for hours. It is so hard. The best way I get through it is think I have my education at the moment I have to do well to give any child I have a good future. I wouldn't want them to live in poverty. Just think in the future you could have a loving husband and a beautiful home in which to bring up a child instead of the house yo share with your family or a dingy concil flat!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011):

It is definitely normal for some women but do wait. Your mind is telling you the correct things: waiting to get married, being at a stable point in life, and THEN having the kids. I'm 19 and having these urges to have a child, but I know better. I know that I need to be at a better point in my life. You're only, what, a sophomore or freshman in high school? I'm in my freshman year of college and though I look forward to having kids so much, I know that for my unborn babies' sakes, I need to wait to have them. I've found the guy I want to have them with already (my amazing boyfriend who I have no doubt I will marry one day), but he and I are both getting our lives on track, making the best for us as a couple before getting any children involved.

In this case, let your head and logic guide you!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2011):

I am almost certain that your reference to childcare jobs makes you jealous is something that, in reality, you have never actually done. If you worked in a daycare center or as a childcare provider, you would not be jealous of these workers. It goes to show how young and unready you are to be a mother. It's hard work, really hard work, for he rest of your life. Don't rush it, toots.

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