A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll keep this short.Basically, I am really infatuated with a guy i've known a little over a year. I told him in the early stage of our friendship (i.e. 1 month after we'd known each other) however, he made up some excuse to let me down gently. Fast forward a few months, he begun to behave differently around me (referring back to early this year Jan/Feb) and i noticed he was very shy in my presence, especially when alone. But i put this down to the fact he felt awkward around me becuase he knew how i felt about him. Since then i've been debating in my head whether he likes me or not, i just got that 'gut instinct' that he did like me but i wasn't sure whether i were just fooling myself. Recently, a friend of mine (lets call him Rob) and the guy in question (lets call him Mark) got chatting about ME. Alot of positive things were said by him, for example he had turned down someone else's party to attend mine which is in a few weeks time. Anyway the big bit; Rob told Mark that me and him are very alike, to which he replied "Yeah, alot of people say that" and then Rob asked him "Why don't you get with her, she is a really nice lass" to which Mark replied "Yeah, i've thought about it actually". Am i right to assume that this means Mark likes me? because he surely wouldn't consider dating me if he didn't feel anymore for me than a friend? I take the hint that maybe he's thought about it and then decided he doesn't want to be in a relationship? which i wouldn't blame him for, because me and him are painfully shy around each other and we can barely speak a word.So my question is, what should i do now? I want to be with him more than anything in the world. I was always filled with uncertainty until this point, therefore i've never known how to behave around him but now i am sure he at least feels something for me, which changes things.Thank you for any responses, it will be much appreciated.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
I know how you feel. I've been there. When I was at school, I asked ten girls out, and they all said no. So I didn't ask out number 11. Turned out she really liked me. So when I finally met another woman I liked, I did ask her out and I'm still with her :). I really do understand :). The thing is, if you don't take a chance, you won't know. It's not easy, you do have to put yourself out there a bit. If you are worried, just ask him a few questions about himself and get to know him more, then ask him for a date. I promise if you don't, you'll wonder what happened.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionCaringGuy, You make it sound so easy lol.
As much as I appreciate your advice and I know that you're right, I don't think I have the courage to confront him. I'm not a confident person and I think if i brought up the idea of us dating, it would create an awkward atmosphere. To be quite honest, the thought of spending time with him (alone) makes me tremble with nerves.
I want us to be comfortable around each other firstly, because I think it would make it easier for us to be open about our feelings and take things further. I'm just not sure how to go about it... I would much rather him voluntarily admit his feelings for me, than being pressured into telling me. I care about him so much and i really don't want to mess up the opportunity.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 December 2009):
You two love sick puppies! Young lady, it's time to be brave. You have a choice. Say nothing, and never be with him or know whether it could have worked, or say something and take it further. It would be a shame if you didn't say anything, and he really fancied you but you could never be together because you were shy. So take a big risk, and ask him out on a date. If you don't, you'll be hurt and you won't know! Be brave :).
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