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female
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anonymous
writes: I have several problems during sex. I am very inexperienced and have only being having sex for the last 3 months, in which I have been taking the pill. Firstly, while finding clitoral stimulation enjoyable it is also quite hard to bear as I have to tense up and I feel like I'm going through an endurance test. In the past I have managed to relax and loosen up, but this has made me wet myself which is really embarrassing. Then when my boyfriend enters me it is very painful. The friction of it rubbing inside and hitting the back part of me also hurts. It is only possible to have sex in the missionary position as it is the least painful. We have to wait about a week between each session while my vagina recovers. I am probably not wet enough and need to use lubricants. My boyfriend has had one serious relationship in the past, but his ex had a disorder, which made her unable to have sex. Maybe the fact that he refuses to use a condom and cums inside me worsens the issuPlease help me I don't no what to do. I know this is stupid, but I feel uncomfortable discussing this with a doctor in person.Thankyou
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condom, his ex, lubricant, the pill, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (7 April 2006):
 Whooaa, I have to answer this question as there are several issues that need addressing here, this is a long reply but I hope you read it all...
First of all what do you mean he refuses to wear a condom!!! You don't have to let him have his own way like that! You are more than entiltled to ask if not tell him that if he wants to have sex with you he needs to wear a condom! My main concern here is that if he refuses to wear one with you , who else has he refused with ... If he cheats on you, or in fact if he already has a disease, you will get it! And I'm also assuming from what you've said about docters that yuo would be too nervous to go and get tested, therefore you would have a disease without even knowing it! If you get clamydia it can stop you ever having babies. If you get AIDS you can dye from it. GO FOR TESTS AND GET HIM TO AS WELL, BE ASSERTIVE AND TELL HIM TO WEAR A CONDOM!
Another issue that I've picked up on is that you said his previous girlfrind also had a problem. Now I'm thinking.... What are the chances of two girls, one after the other, with vaginal problems to this extent, both coming into this mans life..... I'm thinking its quite rare and I'm questioning whether it is the girls that have the problem. I mean MAYBE this bloke is just inexperienced and isn't doing it right..... Maybe that is what is causing the problems..I'll tell you how but bear in mind this is just a guess I might be wrong..
He is eager to get down to action. He thinks he can just poke and prod whenever he wants. (Sorry to be graphic) He thinks he doesn't have to any work and can just stick it in and get his pleasure. I don't think he is giving you enough foreplay OR consideration. For one it sounds like he is hitting your ovaries that's what the pain is that you are feeling. If he carries on doing this he will damage them and you will get ill. He's a selfish lover and i don't think you are comfortable with him, that's why you tense up. You need someone more considerate.
I think there alos medical issues that need to be addressed here... I'm not an expert in what ones, but from what you've said about when you relax you wet yourself, there might be something you can do about that, if you do your research you might find that is not as uncommon as you think. Also you are quite new to the pill, have you thought that it could be causing these side effects, you might need to change to another pill..
Its definately worth and NESSESSARY for you to get professional medical advice. I know you don't want to and you don't want to be told that, but YOU need to, Its part of life and once you've done it it will be over and doe with. Here's an idea, if you can't find the words, then simply print this off and take it to your docter. Let them read it and I guarantee they will help you in the most desreet manner and will also understand how nervous you are.
From Sexybum x x x
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