A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need advice. I have been married for 12 years and have two children. About 3 years into our marriage my husband said he didn't love me anymore. This wasn't really dealt with at the time and was brushed under the carpet. About 3 years later he said it again and this time added he wasn't sure if he ever had loved me. By this stage I had a 5mth old and was totally devistated. I know I should have dealt with it the first time, but I was too shocked to respond. Our relationship went down hill very rapidly, but we tried to make it work for our child. We then bought our first home and later had another child. I still loved him, but what he said kept coming back to haunt me. Last January (2006) I finally pick up the courage to talk to him about it. He has never said sorry since then and I still feel very angry with him for hurting me. He has however made a real effort to make our relationship work and reassures me that he does love me and only said it because he was feeling down himself. I have desided to leave him and I am currently looking for work so I can do this. However, I am still having doubts that I am doing the right thing for me and the kids. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jenii  +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Dear anonymous,
As you know a decison like this cannot be made lightly. Not just because you have children together but because you have been together for so long. Sometimes in long term relationships we can have periods of time of not liking our partners and feeling hurt but this is not due to not loving someone.
Love is something which needs constant nurturing as you know but sitting down and opening yourself to your husband and being honest with him about your feelings in a relaxed environment will help guide you to your right decision.
With Warm Wishes
Jenii
A
female
reader, louloubaby +, writes (21 June 2007):
a relationship is very special and it needs love and affection to be in it. Staying with a man because of your children is wrong because it is not a good example to set before them, especially if there arguments. You need to talk to your husband. The key to a good relationship is good communication. However you can not make a person love you.
You have my full sympathy and i'll pray it works out for you.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (21 June 2007):
 Only you can decide if what you are doing is right for you and your children, i understand you are very hurt and angry with him for the way he has treated you if you still love him then you could suggest going to marriage counselling to try and get through this, if you don't then it would be better for you and your children if you did leave.
You say he has told you he does love you and he is trying so now you have to work out for yourself if you are prepared to try and make this work, don't do it for the children though do it for you.
Take care.xx.
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