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female
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anonymous
writes: I am 25 and have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years. I have been avoiding bringing up our issues with him cos I think it will make the problem worse and I felt that there were more important aspects of our relationship that mattered more. The problem is, is that we very rarely have sex and when we do it is over within 30 seconds or so. This has always been the case and I think is a major factor why we don't have sex. At first I thought that it was due to his weight as he was a good few stone overwieght but now he has lost weight and looks great and nothing has changed. It really angers me that he has never felt the need to bring this up before as he must know that I get nothing out of sex. He has never once accepted or apologised for coming so quickly. Sometimes he feels like I am critical of him regarding other thimgs in his life and I am terrified that if I bring this up with him, he will think I'm having another pop at him! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2005): Your boyfriend does sound a little on the selfish side but thats not to say he doesn't care after all you haven't mentioned it either so for all you know he might feel the same or a little embarrassed that he comes too quickly. But yes talk to him be blatantly honest but don't put him down.I went through a similar thing but my boyfreind just couldn't get into the mood it turned out he had alot of things on his mind and yes even after 9 years we still have a good sex life. Just talk it's the best thing you can do express what you want what use to turn you on and see if the spark is still there. There is so much to experiment on it doesn't have to be this way!!
A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (1 December 2005):
 Men can orgasm as soon as they wish. It sounds as if he doesn't care that you are not having a good time. Unless he has a medical problem there is no reason why he would be consistently pre-ejaculatory unless he is simply having sex with you to orgasm as quickly as possible. His mechanical releases have nothing to do with you. That is a serious problem as it means you two don't connect on a romantic level (it is incomplete to connect romantically mentally without the physical) If he doesn't engage in long foreplay, this is probably the case.
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