A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi.I go to a school with both boys and girls but with same sex classes. i have some friends who are boys in my tutor and recently the one i fancied asked me out and i said yes but now i have a bf i cant stop worrying. my parents are overprotective of me and not sure if they would allow me to have a boyfriend. just the day before the boy asked me out my mum said that if i had a boyfriend she would kill me (in a joking way). i know that i shouldn't have said yes to this boy but because he was a good friend of mine in the first place i know he asked me out because he likes me not just because he wanted a girlfriend. Now i really want to tell my mum i have a bf before she finds out by someone else its just im scared she might not let me see the boy again and might even pull me out of the school but if i dont tell her and she finds out she might do the exact same thing. so should i tell my mum or not? and if yes how can i tell her? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Of course you should of said yes you numpty, this dude sounds FINE. Do not tell your mum. I have no idea why people feel the need to tell their parents antyhing about their relationships until their at marrying stage, which you certainly shouldn't be. Just have fun with this guy, and don't bring him to your house. I think it'll be a few years yet till your parents willingly accept you seeing some one.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): Tell your mum you have a really good best friend who just happens to be a boy. Then you won't be lying and will have technically told her all she needs to know. If things develop too far or your together for very long, then yes of course you must be totally honest and admit that you have a boyfriend that you love.
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A
female
reader, nettles +, writes (15 June 2008):
 I know exactly how you feel, I was terrified of telling my parents I had a boyfriend and was making excuses to see him. Its likely that your mum already knows (they always do!!) so the best thing to do is just tell her.
I promise you she won't react the way you think and is more likely to invite your boyfriend round for dinner.
She just wants to know you're safe and as long as your boyfriend is a decent guy she won't mind!
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A
female
reader, Phoenix-Rose +, writes (15 June 2008):
ok look i honestly think that your mum is just looking out for you as she still sees you as her little girl but remind her that she was once in love and got crushes at school. She can be protective but she cant stop you from seeing him as its your life and then she'd be controlling you which really isnt the best for anyone
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A
female
reader, Verity-loves-Him +, writes (15 June 2008):
You shoudl always tell yoru mum thing like this 1: because its better comeing from you than someone else 2: your mum shoudl be he person you trust most like your best friend 3; she can protect you from your dad lol.
In other words you should tell her and if she dont like then tuff really hehe.!!
love & Kisses
Verity
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict +, writes (15 June 2008):
 Yes of course you should tell your mum.
You MUST tell your mum where you go and who you go there with.
What you don't necessarily have to tell your mum is who your best friends are nor who you choose to kiss.
Put it this way: my son who is now twenty-one had his first girlfriend when he was 15... or so we thought. When we were talking about a girl who just got married who is the same age as him, he told us that SHE was his first girlfriend when he was 12 and that he kissed her in the woods up the road!!!!
It's natural for mums to be over-protective. Just make sure you don't do anything that she wouldn't approve of - because, believe it or not, mums usually know best!
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