A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of two years have had our ups and downs. Everytime things go well in our individual lives [ie: get out of debt, decide to quit bad habits] we work so well together, and I can see a definite future for us. The problem is, when we are down.Whenever we have car and work problems, or not that we are living with his parents and another couple, we bring out the worst in eachother.We always try to change, promise to find better ways of communication and tolerance, but we are both so hot-headed and stubborn that when we fight it all goes out the window.I told him that maybe now is not the right time for us to be together, but now that I think about it I don't want to be together only becuase we have no problems. I want to be with him becuase we can work through our problems. A part of me thinks maybe we could truely forgive and forget everything in the past, [that plays a big role in our tiffs] and try to start fresh. No more grudges.I don't want to promise myself something if it isn't possible, or to keep telling myself 'it will be better this time' without it actually being better this time.If I really do love him, and I know he loves me, should I believe that we can work it out?
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female
reader, trshly +, writes (2 June 2009):
 Thank you,
I hope that we can learn to take things on together, instead of turning them against each other.
A
female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (31 May 2009):
You should never have to persuade yourself and i felt hints of that whilst readng your post, its never a good sign.
Every couple has their arguments but if yours are bringing the relationship to a standstill then things are not looking good for the future, i senseyou really want a future with this man and so your clinging to this hope hoping it will bring you both back it, this could be the make or break.
You need to find youreselfs first and then combine with each other right now the past is too much and it never really goes away.
You love him so dont give up on it, it takes two and a very strong couple to work problems out, sometimes they fall deeper than what meets the eye.
Why do you argue so much over things that shouldnt be an issue? So many questions with no answeres only adding to the strain.
You did the best thing taking a break, now go back in there for all the right reasons with the help and support of the other half you love so much.
People let things go so easily for all the wrong reasons.
Sometimes the simple things can change it all.
Tell him how much you love him and how you believe this is worth saving, dont give up on each other and stop battling against each other, your in this together so start acting like that!
Best of luck through finding the way forward, i have no doubt you will and i dont know you personally, yet the passion and devotion in which you display tells a lot of how you really feel, this doesnt happen a lot so dont let the past take away your future.
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