A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my husband's cousin. I have been with my husband for 7 years, married for 18 mths and we have 3 gorgeous kids. Our relationship has been turbulent but i care very much for him. Just over a yr into our relationship after the birth of our first child we split, he went off with my best friend and we didnt speak. Out of the blue his cousin rung and i felt an instant trust and was able to open to him. I explained the situation and we kept in regular contact. His pregnant gf went on holiday so i agreed to go to a works do with him. He took me and baby to a lovely fireworks show and it started to feel right. We ended up sleeping together and he wanted us to be a couple. I was being confused and selfish and ran a mile not noticing the feelings that were there. I got back with ex but kept it all a secret, they just naturally drifted apart. We met again 2 years ago at family gathering, i was pregnant with 3rd child. I felt that instant love come over me, he explained he married and divorced and was now with another woman. He came to our wedding, i stood up there makin my vows knowing i loved that man behind me. A family photo was taken at wedding and we're just looking at each other, my husband commented on it but i shrugged it off. We started texting and flirting but i just couldnt trust my feelings, my kids my husband all the mess and hurt. So we stopped talking. He has ended up back in our lifes and the feelings are there strong as ever. He treats me like a princess, but could we both leave our familys? could we be forgiven? would my kids understand? would it work in the daily grind of life? What am i thinkin, why cant i just get rid of these feelings, why is it such a strong and intense love? Help what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSoory to clarify not my kids uncle. It is my husbands cousin twice removed. Yes still very bad but not almost incest. Thanks for all replys so far.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 December 2009):
If you're expecting to be forgiven, forget it. If you think your kids will understand, they probably won't. If a couple divorce, children can learn to accept and slowly move on. But in this case, you would be leaving for a man for his cousin, another family member. That has the potential to blow everything apart. Then there would be the huge stress of knowing that only you and his cousin would be fighting for each other, with everyone disapproving. So now you have a choice. You can either stay with your husband, end all contact with the cousin, never speak to him and work on your marriage, or you can make a break for true love knowing that this could be disastrous. Think very very carefully about what you are going to do. If you are in doubt, speak to a counsellor, who will be able to give you advice. Ultimately though, it would be better to end the marriage at least, since yoou don't love your husband. Then take time to think about what you really want.
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