A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am in love, and I don't know what to do about it.Now, this might seem like a bit of a lovey dovey statement, and I am sure, you think I've got some silly crush - I'm 26 years old, I know what they are and this certainly isn't it.I have known this guy forever, and I have probably loved him for the last 10 years. We went to school together, went to the same uni briefly and have had a connection that I cannot explain for many many years. Its almost verging on psychic link - we are so on the same wavelength. We have never dated, or been out. There have been so many times, where we could have got together, but the situation wasn't right, or one of us was already attached. We have such a strong emotional bond - I have never felt this with any other guy, and even now, my heart skips a beat when I see him. We talk every day, emails, texts... we can be totally honest with each other in every way, except how we feel about each other. We flirt terribly, and he always has a wicked smile to flash at me, which always makes me go weak at the knees. No guy I have ever been with has ever come close to him. The connection I feel with him, I just cant find with anyone else. I share my happiness and my sorrow with him, and I always want to make him happy and cheer him up. I hate it when he is down, or upset. The trouble is he has a girlfriend, although they are going through a rocky patch and I don't think they will be together for much longer. He is still flirting with me and recently has got far more serious in the way that he does it. I love him so much, I just don't know what to do. Please help. Anyone who has been through something similar, how did you deal with it, what did you do?Thank you
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crush, flirt, has a girlfriend, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): he may flirt with you, but when it comes down to it, he is not keen for the friendship to progress into something more. he has a girlfriend, you are speculating that it is almost ending soon, but why wait for that to happen. as long as he is in another realtionship he is off limits. do not contribute to the downfall of his relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your comments. I have been with other guys, had long and short relationships, but no man ever has the same effect on me that he does. I have tried, really tried to feel this way about other men, but I just cant. I always come back to him. The connection we have I have never felt with any other man.
The fact we have never got together has always been down to circumstances, and the fact that we are both loyal to whoever we are dating at the time. In years past, we have almost got together, but I ran away at the last minute, it was because I was scared, young and naive - the strength of feeling I had for him even then scared the hell out of me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): I agree with Jason. If he goes not take the bait - then let him go - this is not healthy and you are going to get hurt.Open yourself you love someone that can love you back. Goodluck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): It seems that you are this guy's friend and he has a certain emotional dependency on you because of that.
That said, if he has a girlfriend, it is not appropriate to try and pursue something romantic with him.
I understand you want more, but right now that isn't a possibility. I hope that you won't cut yourself off from other men and leave your heart open.
If he should break up with his girlfriend, you don't want to be a rebound relationship if you can help it, all you can do is continue to be his friend.
I find it hard to fathom, however, that if he had any interest in you, that in ten years he wouldn't have made a move....but who knows. If you are willing to risk the friendship, then tell him how you feel after he has broken up and had some time to heal.
You don't really have any other options that I can see.
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A
male
reader, Jason32477  +, writes (19 August 2009):
 I haven`t been through anything remotely similar, but if it was me I would casually mention "Too bad your already taken because I wish you were my man", or something to that effect. Don`t push the issue, but don`t hide your true feelings either.
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