A
male
age
30-35,
*orbiddenHELL
writes:I am madly in love with a member of a cult. She admits to loving me but she fears god... I need help. It hurts to see her do this to herself... i just found this out and I'm on the verge of tears........ Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): I'm sure they take outsiders.... yes they take outsiders.. but the point is to get her out, not try to get in.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 December 2008):
 Buddy, you just got to love her and try even if you know that most likely you will fail. Please keep your eyes open, however: if you notice it is a lost cause, give up on it. Because you can't give up on you.
I'm sure they take outsiders. Try to leave them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Your all right, it's probably my anti-religious streak coming through.. seems like you need to be very commited to try to convince her to leave and even then you will probably fail.
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male
reader, ForbiddenHELL +, writes (29 December 2008):
ForbiddenHELL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Sorry Daniel, but that's about it. Find out more about it, convince her to leave if she wants to be with him, but walk away if she has to stay. The other way would be that he would have to join the cult, give up his family, friends and his own beleifs.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 December 2008):
Well, we're not sure if she wants out of the cult. All we know that she fell in love with someone who does not share her faith. We would expect a very zealous follower to do just what her religion orders, that is to say, not even to consider the idea of loving someone who's not a moonie, but we know that love has its funny ways, doesn't it?
We don't know if she really wants out of the cult and stays because she's afraid, or would stay in it if the poster made the bad decision of becoming a moonie.
It's always difficult for people who have been brainwashed to leave "their" old ideas. It can happen, but it's difficult. In this case, all the more so because the girl is young and, since she was born into the religion, might not be able to conceive life outside of it, particularly if she fears she will condemn herself.
What is the poster to do? Stay out of the cult, read about it (as my dear Diovan suggests), and perhaps offer her support if she leaves the cult. And, also, prepare himself for the heartbreak if that should not happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): The moonies worship the teachings of their leader above all else. God has little to do with it. The leader makes pronouncements about what God has told him, and the followers believe and they follow the instructions they are given. God has little to do with it. Cults are based on the worship of a charismatic leader, that's why they are different from normal mainstream churches, but they can develop and change their views. The Mormons, with their multi-marriages were once seen as a dangerous sect, as far as I know they are now totally monogamous (the main branch) and have been welcomed as a normal church.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Daniel, the problem is that "cults" although they practice religion are very different from normal mainstream churches. They are now watched by governments because in many cases they have destroyed lives. In Jonestown Ghana, there was a mass suicide on the orders of the cult religious leader. Wacco, Texas, the cult armed themselves with guns, many were shot dead, or committed suicide when the FBI moved in. Japan has had a "sarin" attack by a banned cult. Last year there was reports of mass suicides across Europe on the demands of a cult...
Another cult, The Children of God, currently have some of it's members in prison for murder, and other members are being hunted as they have had orders to find ex-members and kill them..
That's why there is a worry, as well as many cults withdraw from the world, are not allowed to live, work or marry outside the cult, reports of sexual abuse of children, psychological abuse, financial slavery, orgies and forced sex.. the list goes on...
That's why this guy is worried, but as I said, I don't have enough information on this particular cult. I do remember they had some very strange marriage and sexual practices, but that's about all. Some cults turn normal after a couple of years, especially when children are born. Some cults resist and these are dangerous, they withdraw from the world, believe they are under attack, start buying guns and thinking that they would be better of if all their members were dead.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): Moonies (Unification church)...
A religious "cult" that is watched by many governments across the world. Famously known for their mass weddings involving hundreds of brides and grooms. In the 1970's they didn't even have a choice, people were told to marry who was chosen for them by their leader, they were also told who to divorce. Critics claim that they pick on vulnerable people and use heavy brainwashing (mind control) techniques to keep them isolated from family, friends and the outside world, and keep them stuck in the religion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unification_Church
This fear of god, is irrational, as you can see her thinking ain't straight, she now believes in the religion, rather than believing in God. The moonies have convinced her that only their religion counts. There are many anti-cult websites on the net, they show you how to go about deprogramming. First read everything you can lay your hands on about the moonies. They have tons of scandals and tons of contradictions about themselves.
It can be done, but it takes plenty of time. The fact that she now stays out of fear rather than love is a very, very good sign. She's already wanting to escape.
I've put up a wikipedia link, with some starting information for you to read. If you want to get her out, you have to become an expert. Find out all about your enemy (her religious movement) and then you'll have more power to destroy them. Be carefull that she and her crew don't pull you into their beliefs instead. This link has tons of information about the activities of the unification church and ways to help people who are members.
http://www.rickross.com/
http://www.rickross.com/groups/moonie.html
Over the years the Unification Church (moonies) have become more mainstream. Many of it's original ways of organising and it's teachings have changed. I'm not sure about it's current status as a cult that should be watched. I'm more familiar with Jehovah's witnesses. Like the Jehovah's witnesses, the Unification Church may have developed from a dangerous sect into an accepted church. Please look over the links I have provided, they should explain whether you have to be worried about this lady or not.
Sorry about my contradicting answers, I'm trying to get information to help you and trying to answer your question at the same time. The problem is that one man's dangerous cult, is another man's oppressed church. Do the research, talk to your girl, find out if it's dangerous and effects her welfare and your relationship or not.
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reader, ForbiddenHELL +, writes (29 December 2008):
ForbiddenHELL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes. and only those of her faith, who have had a marriage condoned by there leader go to heaven. And she can only marry someone who, like her, was born into the religion.
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reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 December 2008):
Does her god prevent her from loving someone who does not have the same faith?
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reader, ForbiddenHELL +, writes (28 December 2008):
ForbiddenHELL is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's not her love for the religion that keeps her... it's the fear of god.
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (28 December 2008):
This is a difficult thing. You don't give much information, and I wasn't able to find much about them either, but this one thing does come out of what you said: she is intending to follow that religion, and, apparently, that means you two can't be together. I believe that, if she were baptist and you were anglican you would be saying something like "all right, we can make it".
Maybe her love for you can help her out of believing the big lie the managers of that business told her. But it could be very difficult.
If you can stand the heartbreak, try to be with her for a while. Give the relationship an opportunity. DON'T become a moonie.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 December 2008):
You don't give many details so it's hard to help.
Does she want to leave the Moonies? Or is that her religious choice?
Talk to her and find out what she wants in life. Then if she wants help to get out then do research online to see what help is available for her in your area. Could social services take her in?
If she's happy at home though then she may just have to deal with the fact that she loves God more than you and you will have to try and accept that and get over her.
Good Luck!! xx
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