A
female
age
36-40,
*ichele21
writes:I wrote about 3 weeks ago about this girl after 5years she wants to be with me we were high school lovers but becuase of our age and doing what my friends thought i should i lisen to everyone else and not my heart what i truley felt inside and i just started dating men to make everyone in my life happy.....anyways....i got some good advice but i forgot to mention i live in Kansas city and she lives in Ohio which is very far aways from eachother... She is in a realtionship with a female she has been with for 9months but claims she is very unhappy with her and im who she really loves and has always loved she has never stopped thinking of me...(why did it take her 5yrs to finally find me??) im am in a realtionship i've been off and on for 3yrs and which is my current girlfriend im happy at times but deep down im just not in love with her anymore....she is a beautiful awesome woman but we have just been through so much i don't know that spark isn't there im sure everyone who has had a realtionship can understand that sometimes it just happens....well now i really wanna see where me and this high school female stand we have been e-mailing txting and got myspace accounts to chat on as well...i seen her pics on there and she is beautiful to me and she is a beautiful person inside and out she was my first true love in high school but becuase it was a lesbian realtionship i was so immature i didn't wanna realize that i did love her i couldn't come to terms with it but now that i know who i am and what i want its like all these feelings are returning back for her i feel like im 16 again really..... i dream about her at night i can't eat half the time my stomach tosses and turns because im lieing to my girlfriend and keeping her in something that im not giving my all into and its not fair to her because she deserves better than that she is so wonderful to me....and this other girl doesn't want to hurt her girlfriend as much as i don't wanna hurt mine but we are both unhappy and believe that we are ment for each other something brought us back together so i really don't know what to do i know what i want but then again i hate hurting the one that loves me so much i feel as if its gonna tear her world apart but than agian she desereves someone thats gonna give her there all and not just a piece someone please just give me a little advice.....
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female
reader, michele21 +, writes (13 November 2008):
michele21 is verified as being by the original poster of the question well funny thing i after i wrote this question i got a phone call from the high school old girlfriend i wanna be with that her girlfriend checked her voicemail and there was one i left on there about how i missed her and wanted to see her and couldn't wait till i talked to her....and her girlfriend flipped the hell out now she said she can't talk to me anymore only through e-mail she has to erase my number out of her phone she was sorry so what am i suppose to do just sit around and wait??? just push my feelings to the side like its no big deal??? i feel sick to my stomach right now i don't know what to say or what to do....im lost i feel as if a piece of my heart broke off and is in the pit of my stomach waiting to float back up....im not gna be able to hear her voice again she can't call me becuase she said her girlfriend will check the phone records...OMG im losing it what do i do just let her go and if she comes back to me and calls me than just open myself up again for hurt???? or what??? i don't know any more.... my birthday in NOV 24th ill be 22 i can't live with this drama i need stability in my life im very mature for my age so im ready to settle down and make a life with someone i love and want to be with which i thought was her but she seems to have choosen what she really wants even though all this time she says she loves me and wants to be with me shes unhappy bla bla.....WTF
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