A
female
age
26-29,
*elilah-danz
writes:I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. We were friends for 2 years before this so are really close. We are both 18 and this is our first real relationship. I can imagine marrying him one day. However, I often find myself sexually fantasising about other men (sometimes just people I have seen about or celebrities). Another thing is that if I'm on a night out I'm very aware of male attention I might receive and get a buzz from it, I enjoy flirting and talking to other men. I also am jealous of friends who are able to dance and flirt with men they meet. I have never cheated on my boyfriend and could never bring my self to actually do it because I love him dearly. I don't really understand why I feel this way and I don't know how to stop feeling this way. Maybe I'm overly insecure.If you could shed some light on my problem it would be appreciated.
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cheated on my boyfriend, flirt, insecure, jealous Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2016): You're only 18, and in the situation a lot of girls place themselves in; when they date one guy forever from the time they first started dating. Then they start getting curious about what it's like to date other guys.
Either continue to be faithful, or be honest and let your boyfriend know that you think you'd like to date other people. At your age, considering marrying someone is premature because you're both growing, maturing, and changing. Your youthful relationship is mainly one of many trial relationships young people have; as you grow and develop. With time and experience, you become more acquainted with real mature relationships which are quite complex and difficult. What you're in now is practice.
You are feeling what someone should at your age. The need to explore, meet different boys to determine what is your best match. To gain more experience in handling relationships that do demand more from you as a person, and to develop interactive skills with a variety of personalities. You moved from friendship to a romantic-relationship mainly because it was safe. It was no challenge and familiar. Don't say you see marrying the guy in the future, when you're dying to flirt with someone else.
That's a total contradiction, attributed again to your youth and immaturity.
Give it some real thought. We can't make this decision for you. You have to determine how valuable this relationship is to you, and if it is totally all you need. If the desire to see other boys is too strong; then you have to be honest with yourself, and your boyfriend. Otherwise; you will be tempted to cheat. That's when people want to keep what they have, but dabble outside the relationship at the same time.
You have to be grown-up enough to make a choice, and stick with it.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (11 August 2016):
 Being in love does not make us blind or immune to the attentions of others. What matters is how we deal with that and how far we take it.
A bit of light hearted flirting is (in my book, at least) fine. Cheating, however, is not. You need to draw a line where YOU feel comfortable and then be true to yourself and make sure you don't cross that line.
Same for fantasizing. It is all in your head. As long as it stays in your head and you don't act on it, it is doing no harm.
Enjoy your relationship and try not to over-think things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2016): Its fun to feel sexy and wanted. I love that feeling too but I know if I had a good boyfriend, its just a passing feeling to feel that way when Im out but I get to go home, I get to unleash that naughty and have the best relationship with my boo.
I say youre really young and that sexy/fun feeling can be intoxicating but also know it feels even better to feel safe, wanted, desire, and comfortable with that one special man. Id always chose the latter =)
Good luck
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