A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm 19 years old and i'm currently in a relationship with an amazing guy. Six months ago i discovered a cousin (technically second cousin) i never knew i had, he's 25 and he has a girlfriend. From the momemt we met we hit it off, we talk nonstop about absolutely anything everyday (even when he's at work). I have never connected with anybody the way i did with him, i have recently helped him get a contact in a company he really wants to work for and this made me feel important to him, he even said so himself. We laugh alot and he confides in me without restrictions and the same goes for me. When we met we flirted alot as we didn't know we were related, so a few weeks back i asked him if we were over the chemistry we had, his words:" not even close, this cousin is the one thing causing us to think we over it". The truth to these words messed with my entire being. We have talked alot about our feelings for each other and when i finally visited him and his family i could hardly think of anything else either than completely with him. We did not discuss this in person but the moment i left he started texting me, telling me how much he wanted to me, again my heart wanted to jump out of my chest. It is so easy...the way we talk and have tons of fun without even trying. Maybe it's the imense amount of attention i get from him, i don't know. What i do know is that i'm incredibly crazy about him, though he is taken and very much related to me. His smell, his voice, the intensity of being next to him all this gets to me. I try as much as i can to push him away but my efforts are without success. I have fallen hard for this guy and i have no idea how to handle this. I could really use some advice as this is getting out of hand.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2013): Thank you so so much for all the advice. Honestly, i feel like the "young and näive" distraction my cousin needed. All he ever talks about now is how badly he wants to bed me, anyone with more than two braincells can see that he is just seeking some excitement. I'd never cheat on my bf. After meeting his gf, i knew him and i could never work, it would ruin our families and besides, i would never sleep with another woman's man, i made this clear to him. Hopefully things will work out for all of us. For me it was the case of missing my bf's attention and affection, it's no excuse i know! And i love my boyfriend so so much, my simple unsophisticated laidback writer. So thank you again.
A
female
reader, Queen_mermaid  +, writes (7 June 2013):
I find this weird. You are in a relation and he is as well.
Somewhere i feel the love, closeness and affection he has for you is just the family love type. He is also grateful to you for having made him to get into contact with the company which he has always wanted to work with.
You know he is in a relation and he know you are in a relation. so maybe for him you would not take that flirt thing into great consideration.
Why not try asking him about his feeling for you even in joke so that you get a hint of what he really think about you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2013): You have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. You have no respect for your boyfriend or the fact your cousin, repeat...your cousin, is also in a relationship.You try to make it sound innocent. You are being untrue to your boyfriend who probably thinks everything is okay. At least let him go and continue flirting with a member of your own family. Never mind the fact you are also showing no regard for his girlfriend. You're both acting like dogs in heat. You are being the most aggressive one in the situation and you're writing the post.You haven't fallen hard, you're having a crush and you're just fascinated because he's forbidden fruit. There are plenty of men out there in the world without cheating on your boyfriend to go after your own kin. Really???You're not in love. Your hormones are out of control!Nothing anyone can say will stop you. However; your parents may not approve; and you just may not like the reaction you get from family and friends. In many cultures what you're doing is taboo. I don't care if he's a third cousin, if he's related by blood he is "family."What is really worse, is the way you're coldly forgetting your boyfriend, and you're going after man who is already in a committed relationship. The only thing that matters, is what you want. Right?You are very young, so you are due a few tough life lessons about how you're behaving. Sometimes advice isn't enough. You need to suffer the consequences of being unfaithful. Once you experience heart-break resulting from your actions, you'll learn.If this guy is only interested in having sex and dumps you to return to his girlfriend, then what?The result:A broken-hearted boyfriend, family scandal, upset parents,an angry girlfriend who may just decide to seek vengeance,and you'll end up alone. Worst case scenario, you could end up pregnant.Let your crush pass, or at least breakup with your boyfriend. He is under the false impression you love him.
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