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female
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anonymous
writes: This is really bothering me. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a month and we've seen each other about 4 times. It's been almost 5 days since we actually talked to each other. 4 times isn't enough for me, and in order for this relationship to work, I've really got to see him. But the problem is, he hasn't called me since 4 days ago even though I told him to call me sometime over the weekend, which he didn't. He's a really nice guy and I'd HATE to break it off with him, but I really want this relationship to work. I'm his first gf and vice versa. Right now, I'm just playing the waiting game...I see no reason why he can't contact me. Its like, I have the balls in this relationship. What do I really want from this relationship..really..it's still on my mind. How do I talk to him about this? I'll hopefully see him on Saturday in person and maybe talk about it w/ him from there. still clueless....any suggestions would definitely help. thx!
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female
reader, missbunbury  +, writes (15 March 2006):
 I'm assuming you're both quite young, based on the fact that this is a first relationship for both of you. Considering you've only been together for a month, I've got to say that you seem to be expecting a lot from this boy - I'm not convinced you really have a problem. When you're dating, you don't have to talk to each other every five minutes, and it's very common to see wach other once a week at this stage - where does this guy live? I mean, if you two live in the same area and attend the same school, then I would expect you to see more of each other - but the guy probably has a busy life, right? I can't help thinking you might be over-analysing this one, counting the times you've seen him and thinking in terms of 'who is in control of the relationship?' At this early stage, you really ought to be enjoying the time you do spend together and working on making sure you have a solid friendship underlying the romance. Try relaxing a little about this one - don't wait by the phone, because the waiting game is a game for only one player, and it always ends up with you as the loser. Kick back, have fun with your own friends and see what happens - you haven't got a lot to lose here, so why not help yourself be a winner by cutting some slack for this relationship?
A
female
reader, addison +, writes (15 March 2006):
 it sounds to me as though this guy is interested in you but wantys his free time with his mates too. You say that he has never had a girlfriend before..maybe he is just a bit clueless on how to treat you? The conclusion here i would say would be to talk to him and tell him that if he says he is going to ring then make bloody sure he does or it will upset you!
A lot of guys need training (sorry guys!) on how to treat a lady. Calling youo sometime over the weekend is poor. That leaves you waiting by the phone, and NO girl likes that! HOpefully you will see him on Saturday??? Make SURE you see him on Saturday and have a good chat to him. Tell him how you feel! Your feelings are valid and should be heard! If he is not interested in listening to you then you will know where you stand with him. Personally I would not satnd to get trated that way. Stand up for yourself. You really like him, therefore its worth it, yeah?? All the best xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): Simple - when you see him on Saturday, tell him you think he's a great guy, and you'd like for the relationship to work. Right now, though, it's not really doing it for you - you feel like you need a relationship that's a little more involved. Ask why he didn't call (that's a big problem, by the way - saying he'd call and then not following through).
My guess is that you're going to need to just end this on Saturday. It sounds like he's just not that into you. But approach him calmly and talk about it first, just to be sure.
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