A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for six months and we are seemingly the 'perfect couple'. We both come from good backgrounds(private schools etc) and our parents have doing alot to keep us from being alone. In 6 months i have only been with him alone once.I have tried talking to my parents but it ended up in a fight and i dont know what to do now because its very difficult to have a relationship with someone where you cant sit and talk alone.Any ideas?thanku! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 March 2009):
I agree with the people below. If all you really want to do is talk then why not ask your parents to let you go to a restaurant... table for 2.
Your parents can always get a table on the opposite side of the restaurant if they want to check you are not dashing off up a back alley with him.
If you want to have sex then it may be a case of tough luck. Your parents have obviously decided that their daughter is not going to have sex till she is older. Unfortunately that is their choice. Have you seen the number of "I am 15 - am I pregnant??? lol" questions we get on here every day? It's no wonder they are scared.
Once you go to university you can go and visit each other and shag like bunnies all day long.
But for now you'll just have to keep it at talking and sneaking off for the odd snog / fumble.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Jason means Healer +, writes (23 March 2009):
Em. They obviously have their reasons.Do they wish you to put a vocation before relationships at this stage in your life?Ultimately though, you will progress to being responsible for your life to the point where you can make your own decisions.Avoid rebellion. It simply fuels fire.Try to find a compromise with them.On another occasion, enquire after their childhood, then steer the conversation around to their early courting lives.At the very least, it may help you to understand why they are like they are. At best, it may provide you with leverage in your current predicament.Also, try to get to the root of their operandus modii; is there real fear that intimacy will lead to an exchange of affection, that to unbridled passion, and then an unwanted pregnancy jepordising all their efforts to provide you with a good start to life?Perhaps, in time; you can convince them of your maturity in the latter and your own abhorance at such a cataclismic sequence of events and they will give you an inch.But be careful not to allow that inch to turn into a mile.
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91 +, writes (22 March 2009):
 like the below answer a day out maybe, a bit more regular?
i also assume aside the being able to talk alone you mean sex as well?
Thats no so easy for parents to cope with you see..
Ive been in a realtionship with my fiance for a long time now, we're moving in soon but at the minute we have to 'sneek around' - basically have sex when they go do the shopping or my dad is out. - were not allowed to sleep in a bed together.
Maybe once in a while save up and book a hotel room? Or work out a time parents are out for enough time. keep it low and discreet as well. thats all the advise i can give tbh
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2009): why cant you arrange to meet him in a mutual spot, away from your houses? at your age surely your parents cant stop you from leaving the house...?
that way you can have a day out together and enjoy each others company, maybe go see a film or go out for dinner?
im confused as to how you havent managed to sort something out yourselves in 6 months...?
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