A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last summer I had a short, but bright romance which turned me upside down. We've known about each other for about 5 years, we've seen each other, but never spoke in a personnal way. A year ago he started texting me, then invited for a drink - in a couple of weeks my emotional life changed completely. It was solely a romantic affair, but one of the strongest possible with no real perspective; still it felt like dying when he suddenly stopped answering my messages. No explanation, not a single word. Last time we met I quarelled with him for a stupid reason, at least he did not get my point then,I left without saying "goodbye" and hoped that we will make up in a couple of days. And that was the end of my summer.In a while I found out that his ex appeared, so he easily replaced one by another.We even met once, everything was fabulous, I did not feel like someone was already there to entervene. I left his home not having an idea that he will text me a couple of times, and that will be it. He had hardly written a "happy-new-year" sms.It's just that I can't understand, what was going on in this guy's head. Or heart, if he has one.But probably at 45, experience helps men to turn on and off whatever they want... Any thoughts?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): MamBear, it looks like I'm replying on my own post, hopefully you get to read my answer. At first, thank you for your short and direct reaction - yes, that being too available in an overemotional emotional state was great part of a subject. He is not married, it was gf. And we live quite close, which meant being very available literally and not knowing how to deal with it, so at that time I could not always tell if I was just dreaming of the things or was longing about it on a serious level for my usual self.
It just that most of times it works ok for them - jump on-and-off and go happy - nobody will say a word. Whereas we, girls, supposed to think of each and every pig as about a serious matter, even if we know: this is a pig)))
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A
female
reader, MamaBear  +, writes (15 March 2011):
At 45 this guy has been around the bush a time or two! You appear to be too available. You never mentioned if this ex was an ex-wife, or an ex-gf. If an ex-wife, they may have a history that you know little about. Maybe they were trying to reconnect. Who knows. My suggestion is to look around and see what other guys are out there.
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