A
female
age
30-35,
*x-lilmiss-xx
writes:Hey Cupids, Ive got a bit of an issue on my hands, although I know its perfectly normal, it keeps bugging me...To cut a long story short, weve been together for a year and a half, and weve recently had a baby together (I gave birth 2 weeks ago) but I was on his laptop recently checking my facebook, and i noticed he's been on porn sites, i understand its perfectly normal for any guy to look at porn once in their lifetime but i cant help but feel hurt and insulted that he'd look at it while being with me specially as weve just had a little boy together, how do i go about speaking to him about it, if i should speak about it? would you guys feel the same way if you were in this situation or would you just overlook it? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2011): I went through the porn fight with my man about 6 months ago. My situation was a little different, I found out he has lied the previous 1.5 years in a few different ways related to porn. I'm 100% against it, just the way I am, and it almost ended us. If I were you, I'd talk to him either way. If you are like me, tell him that's a deal breaker. I had told mine that porn was a deal breaker when we first started dating, but apparently he didn't take me seriously. So now porn is out of the picture and not interfering with our relationship any more, so I don't have to deal with that when we have children in the future. Oh yea, congrats on being a new mommy!
A
female
reader, xx-lilmiss-xx +, writes (16 March 2011):
xx-lilmiss-xx is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for taking the time to write guys, really appreciate it, ill have a word with him and see where we go from there! :)
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2011): Congratulations on becoming a mum! If your partners behaviour is upsetting you, then its important to say so. If you keep quiet and put up with things, you will only build up resentment. And you dont need that while you are recovering from child birth. Right now you need to feel secure and happy. So have a word with him and explain how you feel. If hes sensitive and thoughtful to your needs not just his own, he will understand. There are other ways he can get temporary relief without resorting to porn.
We dont all think porn is 'normal'. Lets face it. If its normal then how many people list pornography as a hobby on their CV's? And would you give them the job if they did?
It doesnt mean YOU have a problem because you dont like what hes doing. It just means, you dont like your partner sitting in your home, looking at other womens breasts and vaginas ect. And masturbaing while he watches them copulate. Thats quite understandable, so dont be put off speaking to him and telling him how you feel. The two of you can find other ways to be loving if hes feeling a little frustrated at the moment.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 I don't see why you are offended by this. It's not like he just started when you were pregnant. He is doing it as part of his personal time and it has nothing to do witht he baby or his attraction to you.
I do think that you should speak to him but just tell him that it bothers you and that you need to be reassured that he loves you and it is because he just needs some personal time. I strongly beleive that it is unacceptable to ask anyone, male or female, to cut their sexuality short unless it directly interferes with your realtionship.
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