A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hello.Im male and my relationship with my ex girlfriend finally collapsed recently due to her chronic alcoholism (advanced stages,korsakoff syndrome e.t.c).I now stay away from her and share the upbringing of our child with the grandmothers,so the child is safe.Which is just as well...my ex re-lapsed recently and whilst in the CDU in hospital met a violent/abusive offender with prison record.She was in a very vulnerable state,gave him her address,house keys/credit card..so now he's moved in.He drinks,and steals her drink from local off-licenses,so she's now co-dependent on him.He's verbally/physically abusive.Recently she returned from hospital with a punctured lung and broken ribs,telling her mother that she 'fell'.Later her mother received a phone call from a social worker saying that a doctor had phoned from the hospital saying that her injuries had been inflicted by this male offender...he beat her up.The police cannot do anything..she is so dependent on him or scared or both to back them up.The two weeks prior to this scumbag moving into her life we were still engaged to be married...if this carries on she will be dead soon..her mother is at her wits end.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you caring guy,I pretty much go along with your reply...focus on the child at all costs,which we are doing,the child is no1 priority over his feckless messed up mother,avoid her absolutely, im not risking the police for the childs sake,shes already had me arrested in the past,even though people want the abuser 'done over',no she cant help herself because her esteem is virtually non exsistant and this 'man'has now made sure of that.But if she had controlled her drinking years ago in the first place,she would not be in the place she is now with this loser.I dont think she could see the truth if she wanted to.
A
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reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 May 2010):
The most important person right now is your child, because of all the people in this, your child is the one who will be most hurt and confused. No matter what you think of your ex, or how you feel about your ex, she has made her decision and no one can help her because she won't help herself. No one can make her see the truth. You must stay away, and you and her mother mus do as much as you can to make your child your priority, no matter what happens. Because your child will end up messed up if you don't. Your ex has made her decision for whatever reason, and unless she can get out, there is nothing you can do. But you must throw everything you can into your child's life.
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