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female
,
anonymous
writes: I lost my virginity when I was 16 to my boyfriend and i havnt slept with anyone since i broke up with him. That was 3 years ago!!! furthermore, ive only kissed 2 people. The problem is that because im so self conscious about myself, whenever i have been approached by guys (which isnt that often), i always knock them back. Now im worried that because ive left it so long to become intimate with someone, when the time comes, i will be useless at it because im a "born again virgin" and it will turn the guy off of me because im inexperienced and wont be any good.Im stuck in a rut because i knock back guys because of these worries, but ive only got these worries because i knock the guys back, thus increasing the number of years since ive slept with someone.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, let me help! +, writes (27 August 2006):
this is normal. Because you lost your virginaty at 16, it doesnt meen your 'inexperience'. When you meet a guy next time, stay relaxed and calm and enjoy your crush.The best way is to tell him about your feelings, he should respect it and take things slowly. cheak this website for more information www.virginityloss.co.uk XxX frm paula.
A
female
reader, layla +, writes (25 August 2006):
 not all men want sex they want to get to know you and your personality. i think that you are loosing your confidence in yourself. i think that you can build this up by going out with your friends and buying new clothes. also spend time and money and treat yourself you deserve it. good luck i hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, guardian87  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 Sex is a huuuuge thing to do. Maybe not to some people, but it is for me.
I feel that having sex isnt really all important in life. Maybe your worrying about the sex your getting becuase you feel alone and feel like thats the only way to get a guy?
I can tell you right now that not all guys are into sex (Im not! :D). I don't think this is all too big of a problem for you. all you have to do is be able to get pass the past experiences you have had and try to find a guy to go out on dates with.
Ya, i know, easier said than done. But listen, sex isnt everything, and how ppl think you you are shouldnt reflect how u think of yourself.
Good Luck!!!
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (24 August 2006):
 My dear, dont worry yourself at all, just because you have not had sex for a certain amount of time, whats the big issue? There is mo problem, when the time is right for you to be with someone, just take it slowly and dont worry about it. Dont think oh well I wont be any good or I am inexperienced, sex is aboit intimacy and love, well it should be, not about a score out of ten, or how you rate under the covers, no, no, no. Ok babes, so dont worry. Take care. xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): I don't think there is any thing wrong with you, and I don't think you can leave it "too" long before you are intimate with someone again.
It seems like you had sex when you weren't ready. If you "force" yourself to get with a guy you may find yourself in the same situation again.
There are plenty of people in exactly the same position as you, trust me. and, I think, when you find the right guy (or he finds you) it will feel all the much better.
If you feel comfortable and secure with someone it won't matter if you are inexperienced or not "any good". Maybe you'll meet a guy in the same situation as you?
Don't doubt yourself or what has happened in the past 3 years, you have nothing to be ashamed about. Work on your self-conscious problems, by all means, but don't feel the need to have sex before it becomes a forth year! Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Helen1986 +, writes (24 August 2006):
 I can understand your concern hunny, but I think you should stop knocking some of these blokes back and start dating. This will make you feel more comfortable around blokes once you have dated a few. Accept compliments this will make you feel more confident in the long run. I'm not saying jump into bed with any of them, wait until you find Mr Right. But you are not going to find him if you don't date anyone. Once you have found him and you feel comfortable enough around him tell him how you feel and that you are a bit scared. If he really cares about you he should understand and will gently guide you. Good luck hunny
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (24 August 2006):
 I think you need to take a step back and calm down about all this. You are older and wiser now than you were when you first had sex so, when you do, you will respect it more and, if it's in the right circumstances, you will be more comfortable and at ease.
You are stressing yourself out about this and this is making the situation worse. There's no race going on about how many people you should have slept with by the time you're a certain age, just take your time and wait until it seems right.
I can promise you now, if you chill out, talk to the guys you like and really get to know someone, and hopefully fall in love, the sex will be incredible, even if it's been years since you last did it. There's no rush and you don't need to just go out and find anyone to do it with to make sure it doesn't go on any longer.
I think the reason you feel this way is because you haven't met anyone you really like and, if you have, you haven't given them a chance. Once you really care for someone, all the sex just falls into place without having to even think about it.
Talk to people that talk to you, get to know more guys. Just flirting will give you more confidence in yourself and with the opposite sex. Don't rush into anything, don't be nervous and don't think this is wasted time: getting to the right moment is the most important thing.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): Maybe the reason for that is because your body wasnt ready to have sex but you thought you were dont worry about
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