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I'm worried saying yes to sexual experiment will affect our friendship!

Tagged as: Friends, Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 June 2017)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My best friend of 15 years last night was telling me how he's curious to try things with a guy and he went on about it a lot. He kept asking if he could give me head and in all honesty I wanted to say yes but I just didn't want to risk my friendship with him. It's something he's serious about and I'm not sure what to do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2017):

He may want to try Anal and he's using this as an excuse

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A male reader, jc2008 United Kingdom +, writes (4 June 2017):

Hey, first off are you a gay/bi guy or did he just ask in the hope that you were willing to experiment?

My honest opinion? don't do it.

There is a friendship line which shouldn't be crossed. You have your own doubts anyway which is why you have come on here and haven't just gone ahead with it.

Tell him there are things like Grindr which he can use as a route of experimentation.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (1 June 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI think I would tell him no.

If he wants to experiment, that is ON him but don't be his sexual guiniepig. Especially if he decides that he is either too embarrassed to have done it with a guy or want to do it with a guy. Because you KNOW who he will "blame" when the fantasy he has in his head doesn't work out in reality or when he feels "guilty" for having tried this with a guy.

IF he isn't gay but CURIOUS, you are a safe person to ask but not the RIGHT person to do it with.

What if YOU hate it and he wants it more? Or vice verse? What then? The friendship is over. It usually is when sex is introduced.

So if you VALUE his friendship I'd skip that experience.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2017):

Denizen agony auntI think you are right to be cautious about risking your friendship. There are plenty of gay men who will happily oblige him. It doesn't have to be you.

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A male reader, peacefulfrog United States +, writes (1 June 2017):

Only you know what is right in this situation. You have to weigh the value of your friendship against the reason why you wanted to say yes. Did you feel pressured and want to please your friend? Did you just want a bj? Are you curious about a bj from a guy or specifically from him? Did you simply want to allow your friend to experiment and do him a favor? Is it possible that there are deeper feelings involved? Be honest and compassionate with yourself. Do what you feel is congruent with who you are. If that means saying no, help him find somebody to experiment with. If it means saying yes, accept that your friendship may change, possibly for the better, possibly not.

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