A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I got back onto the dating scene a couple of weeks ago after a year of being single.I went onto a dating app and I met someone there. He caught me off guard completely! I fell for him, hard. He was so handsome and charming! I couldn't believe someone so handsome was talking to me! He was clear with his intentions, he said he wasn't looking for a relationship, just someone to have regular fun with... he would compliment me a lot, call me sweet, beautiful, and everything else. We agreed to meet up to have sex, and we did. We text for a bit more after, until he started to ignore me out of the blue. I eventually blocked him on WhatsApp but not on my actual phone (I was hoping he'd contact me, silly know thinking he would) and we haven't spoken again. I feel so upset by the whole situation, this barely lasted a fortnight and I'm so upset about it. I feel so embarrassed to be upset about it because it was nothing! I even feel embarrassed to mention it to friends as it was something so insignificant. I'm not sure why he had this effect on me? He greeted me with a picture of himself naked! What was I expecting? I've done this sort of thing several times in the past and usually got over it in a day, but not this one - why? It feels like I can't move on!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 June 2017):
 Okay so you know why he stopped talking to you, he got what he wanted. But if it is effecting you then maybe you are not wanting just fun maybe you are wanting more but you are kidding yourself that you don't.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (1 June 2017):
 You said he was VERY upfront about what HE wanted and he started out with a naked picture?
So what you REALLY need to do is ACCEPT that you WERE just another notch on his bedpost. Nothing more.
Should you be embarrassed? That depends... Was the sex good? Were you looking for something casual like him? If so, don't be embarrassed, just accept that you HAD an ONS and it's NOT for you.
I hope you two used protection. If it was so-so with that, you might want to consider a STI/STD panel done. A guy who is THAT smooth has done it before and will do it again - which means he probably has had a LOT of sexual partners.
So what do you do? Well, you figure out your OWN standards. You BLOCK him, delete him and "wash" your hands off him.
If you don't WANT casual, DO NOT agree to it. That means if you meet a guy who is "seemingly" lovely and sweet but NOT interested in anything but a roll in the hay - SKIP him. You hooked up with a Fuckboy. It happens.
WORDS are cheap, OK? He can PROMISE you the moon and skip town the day after. IT was JUST words. This guy? He KNOWS what girls want to hear, doesn't mean he MEANS what he says. He likes the idea of flattering the girls and the girls he hooks up with to be "crazy" about him. Why? It's an ego boost and he can ALWAYS ignore them when he has had his fun. Easy peasy.
Now don't think ALL guys will do this, but PUT some thought into HOW you present yourself in your online profile and put some thought into READING a guys profile and LISTEN to what he says. If he says I'm NOT looking for a relationship - (and you are) SKIP HIM, no matter how good looking or charming he is. HE is NOT going to change his mind.
LEARN from this and STOP beating yourself up. YOU made a mistake in thinking MAYBE he will want more than just sex. Sweet nothing words don't mean ANYTHING to this guy and guys like him. It's part of the "game".
And OP, you haven't "fallen" for this guy. HE is a total stranger who said a lot of "sweet" things - a means to an end and the end was to get you in bed and walk away. You don't know him. The guy you feel like you have "fallen" for, exist only in YOUR head. How you THINK this guy is, but it's not WHO he really is. A guy who just want to have sex with as many girls as possible. And I really can't call him a TOOL or something because he was VERY honest and upfront about his intentions. YOU DIDN'T listen.
Now you can cross off Fuckboy off your "bucket list" and no do THAT again.
Brush yourself off and let it go. We all make mistakes and this guy was YOUR mistake.
Chin up, MOVE on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2017): He was better looking and tried harder than you are accustomed to with your casual sex hookups. Don't overthink this.
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