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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Okay, what do you think. My husband is pretty popular on social networking. A while back I posted my picture on my social sites that are linked to his (like twitter.) He quickly told me to take down all pictures of me because people would take them, photoshop them, and use them to make fun of me. At first I thought this was really sweet because I know there are a lot of trolls out there. So I did as he asked.Then about a week ago he allowed his friend to make a joke about me being anally raped by other men, and he didn't defend the joke. Saying I had no sense of humor and it was only a joke.Well, so last night I decided to post a video of myself singing, just for fun, (and also thinking that whole picture thing obviously doesn't matter since he didn't care that someone makes jokes about me like that.) He instantly flipped out and said, "I thought we talked about this." I said I wanted to be able to post pictures and videos. Then he said, "Fine, but make a new account that isn't linked to me in any way." And had me delete my video before anyone could see it.So this has me thinking.... he's not trying to protect me at all. He could really care less about anything that happens to me. I think he's protecting himself, not necessarily from people making jokes about me, but just because what???? I think he's embarassed of me. He's told me before he thinks the things are do are stupid and annoying. He never supports any creative or intellectual endevours I pursue. He doesn't ask me who I am or what's going on in my life ever. Then he said to me. "Why do you always have to do what I'm doing?" Well, I thought being supportive was a good thing, but now I see it isn't.... And now I'm sure he's just embarrassed that his friends will make fun of HIM for having me in his life.Do you think that's just me being paranoid or does that make sense? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2011): you know what's worse than being a single mom raising a baby on your own? it's being a single mom raising a baby on your own while married to an abusive husband. You're already on your own in life so you should think of yourself as a single mom, because your husband has been turning his back on you even though he's still physically in the same house and legally still married. He's a liability to you and your child.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for this.
I need to stop thinking about it. I need to just put is aside for now. The stress is too much. I've been having lots of contractions and pain and cramps and I'm afraid the stress is going to cause my baby to come early. SO I have to stop. I'll stop asking questions. I can't handle this stress I just have to focus on the baby not coming too soon.
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female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 I think you have posted something similar before, due to this "charming" mans attitude towards you.I know you are married, but is this really the right marriage for you?When I'm with my man, I want him to be just that - I want him to look after me, protect me, take account of my feelings, basically I want someone after a very stressful day at work or when someone has made me feel bad to be able to turn to him and say "this has made me feel upset/stressed" and for him to hug me, hold me, pour me a glass of wine listen.- I bet you do too, and your husband should be defending you, loving you, encouraging you - he's not, he should be horrified at the thought of jokes such as you being raped, it should make him feel sick. He should want to do everything he can to make you happy he just makes you miserable.I was in a similar situation, I'd cry everyday, my self esteem was so low I thought that was all I deserved. That no-one would ever do those things I mentioned above, because I wasn't good enough. The only thing that kept me going is that I am very successful in my career.Here's the thing, you do deserve better, you deserve a man who acts like one and treats you like his princess.I don't believe you are paranoid at all, I know it's hard to break away but if you can your feel amazing over time, your feel sexy, confident and happy. Write down everything you feel about yourself now and what you would love to feel. Write down everything he does to make you unhappy and happy.Visualising it on paper might help you see that this isn't right for you.Wish you the best of luck x
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 Unluckily, it makes a lot of sense.
I remember your previous post about the anal joke incidente. Your husband is the "streamer " right ?, the one who has a following of a few " fans " ?. It seems that his new found popularity- if so we want to call it- turned his head. He was used to be some non-descript Average Joe, and now there he is , getting attention, having his little following, being a ( sort of ) big fish in a small pond...
Rather pathetic , if you ask me, but it sounds that now he feels he needs someone cooler than you.
I wonder, together with other posters, why did you chose to marry him in the first place.
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (22 October 2011):
Your husband has contempt and disdain for you. He allows others to make jokes at your expense, yet his sense of embarrassment is heightened if he is linked to you in any way. He has no interest in you as a person, not does he want to share his life with you in a real sense.
I would seriously consider if you should stay in this marriage.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (22 October 2011):
I'm very sorry to say this OP, but I think your gut feeling is right on the money. He's embarrassed by you. I'm not going to talk about how pathetic it is that he tries to maintain a certain image/delusion on facebook. There's nothing you could even attempt to trump that kind of superficial and petty idiocy. Even most teens know better than this.
You really should think about this marriage. You deserve a man who is interested in you and supports you in your passions and hobbies and who isn't so damn insecure. I'm sorry to say this but your hubby seems like a selfish person who certainly doesn't deserve being married to you. In fact you're insulting your own self worth if you accept this behavior and stay.
One question though: what attracted you to him in the first place? From what I'm reading I would run a mile if I'd meet him.
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female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (21 October 2011):
Yes this makes perfect sense you have got every right to be annoyed that joke was completely out of order he should not allow people to make jokes of you like that if I were you I would start checking out who he is talking to and what he is saying on these social sites I would also ask him out right why he doesn't like you putting pictures up he may be jealous in case anyone comments on them hope this helped
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female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Why did you marry this guy? He sounds like a real charmer.
He doesn't respect you and he's completely thoughtless when he comes to you.
Let me repeat some things YOU'VE said about him:
--*He's told me before he thinks the things [I] do are stupid and annoying.
--*He never supports any creative or intellectual endevours I pursue.
--*He doesn't ask me who I am or what's going on in my life ever.
Of course, we're only getting one side of this story, so I can only go on what I've seen here, but it sounds like you're more of a crutch than a wife to him. You clean up, cook the meals, do the bill paying and shopping, and you're a convenient place to put his penis, but it doesn't sound like he actually -loves- you.
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Wow... I'm sorry that you're experiencing this.
First of all, in no way should he have allowed his friend to make such a terrible joke- and defend it. There's no reason for you to find humor in that.
Secondly, I think that it's wrong that he's not supportive of your endeavors or creative ideas. A partner is suppose to support you, perhaps give you advice, and have positive, open communication with you. And I don't see anything wrong with posting your videos or pictures online (if used in the right way)- but clearly he does.
I think what would be best for the both of you is to see a couples/marriage counselor together. There's a lot of issues that you two need to work on (more in particular, his issues).
I wish you the very best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): Your husband has serious problems and he doesn't deserve you. I would get divorced asap. Everything that you have said her about him tells me he is disturbed. He is not someone you want to be around.
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