A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey , i really need some advice, please dont judge me i feel bad enough about myself as it is back in may i fell for my boyfriend of three and a half years best mate lets just call him james, ive known james just as long as my partner who we will call eddy, i went to school with them both so i know them really well, then i cheated on my boyfriend i felt awful we never had full intercourse but that doesnt excuse anything. my boyfriend had been thinking of suicide for months it made me feel awful but bare in mind eddy had been phyical to me and stuff telling me he hated me all the time and walking out on me and his daughter. i tried to have a relationship with james and i fell real bad for him, we broke up cause his brother caused alot of trouble and also because he said he wanted to run off and join the army, i had a misscarriage while i was with him and it and the breakup made me incredibly depressed. 2 months down the line after breaking up with james we always kept in touch and he helped me with problems and everything i got back with my ex eddy and we agreed to try and make it work however a few days ago after not speaking with james for 2 months he was online we have been flirty and chatting till early hours in the morning for 3 nights on a run now he tells me he still likes me and im still madly in love with him, i was the happiest id ever been when i was with him. i dont want to hurt eddy again or have him want to kill himself again but we havent been getting on much again and arguments are still occuring. im just asking for help im getting really upset and the only time im happy is when james is online. please if you have a similar story or advice please help me :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 At the end of the day you are not responsible for anyone's state of mind. Nothing you can say or do can change someone's attitude about themselves if they feel bad it's their problem not yours. You would probably never have been able to keep him happy for a long period of time because his default state of mind is to be sad. I say keep in contact with James and see what happens and don't worry about Eddy.
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