A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok this is quite possibly the most shallow question you will ever come across... but here goes.I am seeing my boyfriend 3 years now and I love him more than anything, we are in a very commited relationship and he treats me very very well, and vice versa. We plan on moving into a decent sized home very soon together when we get the finances sorted.. it all sounds so perfect:)He has a beautiful little girl, who is 3 years old also. I love her too, cosidering i know her since the day she was born and when his ex was pregnant, we all get on very well. I would like a baby of my own soon, bare in mind i am 21, and he is 29. He would also like a child with me. Here is the shallow part.His ex is an absolute stunner. shes one of the most beautiful women i have ever seen. her fetures are absolutely perfect...and of course, the baby is beautiful too. My boyfriend however, is far from good looking. Infact he would probably be considered as quite ugly, i have men coming up to me at pubs and clubs asking me why i am with him, and when we first got together my whole family were surprised too. He has lovely blue eyes and bright blonde hair, but awful skin and looks kind of like an ape apparently. i dont care what he looks like because i love him for who he is. to me he is perfect! only problem is... if i have a baby with him, will it be ugly?Yep thats the shallow part.I am a good looking girl, im small, have dark hair and bright eyes and pale skin.. but my nose is a bit too big for my liking and i often compare myself to big bird, but i have images in my head of a perfect little boy or girl who is beautiful in every single way..blah blah i know! i know this isnt usually the case, but i am actually attracted to "designer babies".How the hell can I change my shallow mindset?i need a good kick in the behind, but it sort of bothers me. I know good looking people have it easier in life, i just fear for my babies future, naturally you want youre kid to be happy.. well when growing up i was not attractive at all, overweight at 16, horrible greesy hair... everything was hard, life was really really crap for me and i always blamed my looks.I dont want to bring someone into this world if they have to feel like i did when i looked in the mirror...please help_xx
View related questions:
his ex, overweight Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2013): You're not shallow. This is human nature at work. Many women think about this. It is what it is.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2007): My other half said that when her baby was born ( baby is now aged 30!) that she looked like a rat. Ugliest baby she'd ever seen.
However, as the years went by she turned in to one of the most beautiful women, both physically and mentally, that one could ever wish to meet.
Beautiful babies don't necessarily turn out beautiful in the end. This particular 'ugly' one did!
Phil
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2007): Hmmm... I wouldn't worry much...
Probably because it'll be hard for you to tell if the baby's ugly or not... mothers always find their kids cute, or beautiful better said... it's the love, you'll love your baby anyway.
But, as for the looks part... it really depends... it's weird you know, because I'm almost identical to my sister (no, we're not twins), yet we don't look like our parents... sure we have some traits from them, but we're not identical to them. I've seen people who look just like their parents, and others who don't. However, genetics are soooo complex...
It's more of a family thing you know? Genetics are very very very complex, so much that your baby may not have neither your eyes nor your boyfriends, but maybe your mother's eyes or his father's. My cousin has green eyes and both my uncle and my aunt have brown eyes, yet his grandma has green eyes...
So, the chances the baby is beautiful or not go far beyond just your boyfriend... it's all in luck... so just leave it to chance... you'll love your baby anyway, and he/she will be special and beatiful to you and your boyfriend no matter what!
GOOD LUCK!
...............................
A
female
reader, ladybug  +, writes (24 September 2007):
 It really dosent matter wether the baby looks good or not, what matters is how you raise him\her with love and acceptance, the way you nourish your child with all possible aspect of goodness and love will provide him\her self esteem. You should not be scared with this matter, you gat an amazing family to look forward to.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): excuse well to let you know some of the most ugly people have the most beautiful babys so maybe the baby will be lucky when it comes out of your ugly butt than it will be a shamed of you and not its self
by the way i hope your man leaves you for apoint his looks to big foot the ape
get sum respect for your self and you man
good luck
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Trev  +, writes (23 September 2007):
I know some very un-attractive looking parents that have some great looking kids and some incredibly attractive couples that have kids that you could nicely put as aesthetically challenged.
You cannot predict how your and his genes will react in making a baby - it is nature. Nature is natural and usually beautiful and I no doubt it will assist you in producing a beautiful child.
The most attractive people I know though have an attraction that is nothing to do with their looks as it is not the looks you see first about them - it is their vibrancy and their bubbliness - anyway beauty is in the eye of the beholder and for every person who finds me handsome there is another one that finds me as ugly as sin.
The truth is - it doesn't matter.
Try not to look at the shallow angle here and if you love this guy and want to have his children then go for it - You will find them absolutely beautiful you really will - trust me.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (23 September 2007):
 Well heres all i got to say.
If you do have a baby with this man you love, your not gonna care if its gonna look like brad pitt/Jessica Alba or Shrek because your gonna see the best looking baby EVER. Its that simple, and if you do have the baby you will know what im saying.
Also your kinda shallow.
...............................
A
female
reader, jordanlee +, writes (23 September 2007):
i dont think you need to worry at all about having a ugly baby, your boyfriend doesnt even sound that ugly and you dont either just because your boyfriend has bad skin doesnt mean your baby will children arnt always a spittin image of there parents
if your baby did turn out to not be very attractive i dont think as a mother you would even see that, you would love your baby exaclty the way they are
i think that most people do have a shallow side to them but whose to say whats pretty and whats not everbodys different and you and your partner sound perfect together so if you want a baby do so, i think you shouldnt think so much about the future and so negativly :)
good luck XX
...............................
A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (23 September 2007):
 everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful thing in the world ever! ask your boyfriends mum what she thinks of him - i bet she thinks he's gorgeous.
its natures way of making us protect our children. We think they are gorgeous so we cant get enough of them and love them more and we hate the sound of a baby crying so we will do anything we can to make it stop, thus helping the baby. its all very clever and very thought out.
when i was born i was 6 weeks early and jaundiced and my mum always tells the story of how she went down to the room where all the babies were and she was looking at them all trying to figure out which one was hers then she saw this one really really gorgeous baby and thought "that cant be mine its too beautiful" and it was me!
now though, she looks at pictures of me when i was first born - all yellow and tiny and looking a bit like a just-been-hatched chicken - and says "yep maybe you werent quite as gorgeous as i thought!"
its called mothers love. nobody will compare to your baby in your eyes - and whether the baby looks like you or like your boyfriend you will never have seen anything so beautiful. promise!
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): ok there's one thing you need to keep in mind,it's that a goodlooking child can be the product of 2 people who are not especially goodlooking.
...............................
A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (23 September 2007):
 What ever beautiful or ugly means, much more importand is, what one lucks in it's inside. But from the outside very beautiful parents can have children which don't seem to look very nice and not very nice looking partens can have very handsome children. That is just nature and one hast to take it as it comes. I think noone can every say what your children will look like (you can only know what they shouldn't look like, so if you both have got bright skin, that your baby won't have a very dark skin and so on).
Much more important is the question: would your boyfriend be a good father? Will he treat your children nice and has he got the same idea about how to treat and educate a child like you? Would you realy like HIM to be the father of your children? To have loving, supporting and caring parents is what gives children what they need, not what they look like. I think it is much more helpful to have a nice personalty in place of beeing Miss Universe.
But anyway, I'm sure you will love your children, what ever they look like! All the best for your futur!
...............................
A
female
reader, McTiny  +, writes (23 September 2007):
Wise Up! The baby will be yours and your boyfriends and all that matters is the baby is being brought up in a kind and loving home were the baby will be taught that it is not all about looks. The baby will be beauitful to you and thats all that matters. Who cares what else people think. As long as the baby is healthy it should not matter what the baby looks like! You have got to get these thoughts out of your mind otherwise your baby will be brought up with the same attitude! Sorry if I sound harsh but thats how it is...so wise up and be happy and look forward to bringing a baby into the world! :)
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2007): Do you love him or not?
You decision.
...............................
|
