A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my fiance a year now, he proposed to me 8mths ago, but since then he's been going off and on. for no reasons he'll start avoiding me later he'll come back and beg me. Last 2 month he came to my house i saw him off, when he got home he called and said he has arrived home, since then he never called again after 2weeks i called him and asked why e said he was busy, i kept calling him he repeated the same thing for a week, i was tired and called his friend and spoke wit his friend,his friend said he confronted him and he told him that somebody text him that i am not the right woman for him that was he's been avoiding me. on Sunday he met me in the club and was begging to 4give him, that he has realised his mistakes that he's coming back 4 good. that he has made up his mind not to hurt me again.Am confused i dont know what to do, he has been saying the same thing anytime he avoided me, the truth is i love him and at the same time i dont want to marry the wrong person. pls help me what do i do, should i accept him or let him go.Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Dump him, you definitely don't want to be married to this guy.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (14 December 2009):
 I think you are very, very lucky that he's shown you his true colors BEFORE you married him, lots of people don't get a clue until after the wedding. You do not want this guy to be legally tied to you. Date him if you want but don't commit, he never will.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 December 2009):
I'm afraid you have to let him go entirely. You're only going to end up really hurt.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (14 December 2009):
I think you are making a mistake if you marry him. He is unreliable as your boyfriend and this will get worse when you marry him. Move on before its too late. Try and get that book "he's just not that in to you". I think he has other women because being quiet for 1 week what will he be thinking? Who is he with after work? Who is he thinking of that even before he gets into bed for the night he can't call his fiancée? You yourself should see the truth if you sit down and think
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A
female
reader, tjazzy +, writes (14 December 2009):
Can you spend the rest of your life with a hot and cold person? the time to decide is now.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 December 2009):
 Let him go, trying to keep track of his coming and going will keep you so tired you wont have any energy for anything else
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Do you want to give him one last chance? Because you need to lay down the laws here. Tell him straight how it's going to be. Either he stays with you, or the next time he avoids you its over. Then no more chances.
Or you can leave him now. If all it took was a text message for him to doubt whether he should be with you or not, later on when someone tells him something he'll listen to them and not his heart.
It could be, of course, he is nervous about the wedding and having cold feet which is normal. Getting married is a big step in ones life. If he has never acted this way before, judge if this is a character flaw he has in general, or if this is something only connected with the upcoming wedding.
Anyway, if you do choose to give him one more chance, make it clear to him that he's used up all his chances. Its now or never, and he can't continue to change his mind. Don't take him back more times, this needs to be the very last time you ever have to do this again. This is his last chance.
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