A
female
age
26-29,
*eanna LongWolf
writes: My long distance boyfriend is 18, and im 15. Im still nervous about meeting him and how he will react when seeing me, but not as much now. My mom sorta aproved so far. And i have not told my dad because he dont like me even thinking about boys :/ thing is that he is a cop and i dont know what to do about that. My brother is 19 and dateing a girl my age and they see each other all the time. My mom dont like her, and my dad has not really found out about it yet. He was suspious (dont know how to spell it) but droped it after a while....im just worried.
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female
reader, Keanna LongWolf +, writes (16 September 2012):
Keanna LongWolf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone. For one, i will not have sex with him until im at least 18. Im smart enough to know not to. He respects me, and we are going to see a movie friday :) of course my mom is comeing with, but she seems to like him just from talking to him though. My mom told my dad the other day, and he didnt care...though she didnt tell him the age, and he thinks he lives near me :/ thanks for the advise everyone.
A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (2 September 2012):
Why not tell your long distance boyfriend about your father's occupation and let him decide if he wants to risk getting in trouble. If your boyfriend is from another state and you are below the age of consent and the two of you do anything sexual, your boyfriend could be charged in federal court with sex crimes. Federal charges are usually far worse than state charges.
Why not ask your dad if it is legal?
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A
female
reader, Nitru +, writes (2 September 2012):
Has your dad specifically told you that he doesn't want to know anything about you and boys? If not then maybe its not that bad. I thought my mum thought the same when I was 15 but it turned out that she was completely cool about it. Ofcourse my boyfriend wasn't 18, he was my age.I don't know how the customs and rules are in U.S.A. but 15 and 18 is a problem in most countries. So think about that. Though I'd first try to do something about your parents thinking. If your mom approves of most things and accepts your not a child anymore and its natural that you meet guys and like some of them. Keeping you away from it just makes it worse. Maybe try to talk to them with your brother. Try to make them see that its not that bad when you talk to boys. Promise them that when you find someone appropriate you tell them and show the guy to your parents aswell. Let them see that you can be trusted. But don't scare them right away with a boy whos that much older because even if we here don't care about age difference, for them it might be a big deal. So respect your parents and their wishes. After all they want the best for you and wanty to keep you safe even if it might seem exagerated at times.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 September 2012):
what are you worried about?
here's my take on it..
you've met online right?
does he live close?
are you guys talking about things you would not tell your mom (i.e. sex)
IF you don't live close and have no shot of meeting till you are 18 AND you are not doing ANYTHING sexual with him I have no issues with you being friends.
IF in any way shape or form this "boy" asks you to talk dirty with him or to him or shows you pictures of himself or asks for pictures of you of a sexual nature... you must NOT have contact as he's only after that one thing...
if you keep things from mom that you talk to him about, well then there's a problem.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2012): Three years is not that big of an age gap, but in most parts of the world 16 is the legal age of consent, so if you're 15 and he's 18 and your relationship becomes a sexual one before you're 16, you both will be breaking the law and he if found out, will be liable for a prison sentence and you wouldn't want that.
Who did you say was a cop? Your dad?
If so this is even riskier and especially since you said he doesn't even approve of you thinking about boys full stop, let alone someone who is an adult (18).
I NEVER approve of an adult/minor relationship, but people do as they please at the end of the day, but all I would suggest if you go ahead with this, is to keep your relationship a sex free one until you are at least 16 and are over the legal age of consent, that way neither of you are doing anything wrong. But if not, just be aware of the penalty that the consequences of your actions will carry for him if it all goes wrong.
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (2 September 2012):
Dear Anom,
I am also concerned about the age difference. 3 years may not sound much but at your age those 3 years are significant as the teenage years are the years you develop the fastest and grow into the person you will become. In those terms he is quite a lot older than you or should be. I am not saying you shouldn't try and continue your relationship but i think you need to think about it very carefully. Why don't you try to continue the long distance relationship for a year or so longer and see how it works out.
Hugs
Kelly
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