A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a white girl who's developing feelings for a guy who's Cambodian. While our differences in race do not bother me at all, I'm worried about how my parents will react if anything truly develops between me and the boy I like. While I'm legally an adult (I'm 19, almost 20 years old), I have had an absolutely wonderful relationship with my parents; while they are first and foremost my parents, therefore disciplinarians, the three of us have gotten along splendidly throughout my life; I feel like they are my best friends. Our relationship means the world to me, and I would hate to damage it in even the slightest bit. However, I truly feel a connection with the guy I like. There's definitely chemistry between the two of us, along with mutual interests and temperaments, and I feel like I can truly be myself around him, which is rare. We've been friends for roughly 4 years, during which I've learned that he's truly one of the kindest people I've met, ambitious, and personable; he's always been very popular, since he's a truly lovable guy.Should something happen between the guy I like and myself, I'm worried about how and when I should break the news to my parents. I once got caught in high school when I was dating someone of color, and they flipped out; while the differences in race did bother them, they were way more concerned by the fact that I broke their rules, lied to them, and dated someone behind their back when I wasn't supposed to. While I'm now allowed to date, therefore conflict would be much smaller, I'm still worried that the racial differences will cause a rift between myself and my parents.I don't want to sacrifice my close relationship with my parents for a romantic relationship, but I really like this guy! What should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello, original poster here! Thank you very much for your wonderful, insightful responses! I haven't considered these approaches, so it was very eye opening to read your opinions and suggestions. Again, thank you very much!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 I do not believe that a good relationship with your parents depends on your not dating a white man. If this is the case, then your parents are bossy, not disciplinarian. You cannot "step out", so to speak, or you lose their love.
The time always comes when our parents want something for us and we want something different, and we have to prevail, even if we are in a mistake. This for the simple reason that we have to call our own shots. If you let your parents decide everything for you, then you will never be truly adult.
If you like the man, you should be free to explore a relationship with him even if that is not what they like.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 October 2011):
 Do your parents even know you are friends with this man? Mayve they need to get to know him as a person first then later on could accept him being your life partner....
It's so hard for us to make our own choices when they go against everything our parents have taught us and we are still controlled by them. What options do you have to move out?
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A
female
reader, Candice22  +, writes (18 October 2011):
you should try to talk to your parents that u have this friend who seems a very nice person. talk about his good traits to them. then they will soon notice that you are attracted to him. explain to them color of the skin is not the issue when it comes to truthful relationships. many couples nowadays are into interracial relationships. you do not have to force yourself to love someone that your same race (skin color etc.).. we are same human beings, and skin is just a color. me myself is an asian. but I am happy that I can freely be friends with other races.
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