A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, Well, I am a 26 years old male and I’m virgin by my choice. I’m gay or at least bisexual, I like both men and women both attracted me but when it comes to sex, I feel I’ll be more comfortable with men. I don’t want to be with men, because I feel making sex with men quite creepy (pain and diseases) and I want to have kids and family. Actually I had this gay feeling since I was 11. Anyway, I live in a community that will never accept homosexuality and all homosexuals are considers sinners. So, all the circumstances are against me. At the moment I’m living abroad but sooner I’ll back home. I have a very loving and high educated family and I live with my parents and I cannot predict how their reactions will be even though I think my Dad has a clue because when I was a teenage he found some gay porn in my PC. At the time he was shocked so I told him I got them by mistake. Know I have the best relation with my dad and I don’t want to destroy all this. What should I do? It is really complicated and this makes me worried about my future. Any advises?Thank you all,
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male
reader, jjprego  +, writes (1 December 2010):
Well, I think that if you have been thinking that you might be gay since you were 11, there is a good chance you probably are. I'm guessing you have never experimented with a man, and I think that you should. You don't necessarily have to have sex with a man to experiment sexually with one, there are many ways of sexual gratification. Also, if your parents are well educated, and your Dad suspects you being gay and he is still letting you live with him, then he probably wouldn't have a problem with it. As for the rest of your community, who cares? They're just the people you're surrounded by, and you can find any niche in any community (gay people really are everywhere, not just in San Francisco.) If it is really getting to you, then you should move. At 26 I think that it is time you start meeting guys and exploring your sexuality. I think women might be a lost cause, because if something were to happen with a woman and you found yourself truly sexually attracted to one, it would have happened by now, although I could be wrong. Good luck with everything, I'm sure that because your thinking about it, you'll manage to resolve what your dealing with. Things also tend to end up being less complicated than they seem when it comes to sexuality. The mind blurs and complicates things it doesn't want to deal with. Once you find who you are, things will be very clear, and I'm sure you'll be much happier and less worried about your future.
A
female
reader, glassblower +, writes (22 October 2010):
 It's a tough world to be gay in. When you're ready, try coming out to your family. Know that they love you unconditionally. Your whole community doesn't have to know that you're gay, but rumors may fly. Let them. You're worth getting to know because you're you, not because of your sexual orientation. Best of luck! xoxo glassblower
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