A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm really worried about my friend. She is 13, almost 14 and has lost 20 pounds. The girls in her grade excluded her and made up rumors. She became depressed, and stopped eating, except at school. Her 2 boyfriends dumped her because they felt pressure from the girls. She is starting to eat now, but I'm still worried. What can I do?
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (15 March 2007):
I'm so glad to hear that your friend is starting to eat, and I'm sure a lot is due to having a warm, caring concerned friend like you! But you are still worried. Thismay sound like too much, but if she starts losing weight again, and/or gets very thin, you might want to say something to the school nurse. When I was ineighth grade, I went from 105 to 79, getting anorexic, and for some reason my parents didn't seem to notice until the nurse pulled me out of class and put me on a scale. Next thing you know, my mother is there at school and a few days later they brought me to a doctor. Luckily, I started getting well soon, without doctors or special treatment, but it was due to family support and friends. My father, too, became suddenly aware that I should eat more! I had one girlfriend who never,ever deserted me, like you, and we were great friends, sharing everything -- and still are to this day!
A
female
reader, dollparts  +, writes (15 March 2007):
 just be there for her let her know that you wont drop her like all those other guys and tell her that they dont deserve her friendship and that shes better off with out them
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2007): When I was that age I was anorexic- I lost more than 20 lbs but no one said anything to me- instead they all went behind my back and said mean, degrading things.. it just made me want to lose more weight. The only reason I did it was becuase I didnt have any friends or any support in the first place- this includes parents, teachers friends. I had no good support in my life.. and being anorexic really was my cry for help and love. It is a very hard thing- but really try to boost her self esteem- encourage healthy habits but also encourage good frienship skills. Maybe pull her aside one day and say- hey I really enjoy our friendship- so I want to take you out for an awesome meal! So go to some shop and ge ice cream on friday night and share your weaknesses and support hers. Really make it a bonding moment- just make it a night where you are curious about her and her vulnerabilites and her dreams in life- really just focus on her for one day and make it a memorable time- usually these kids are willing to drop everything for a nother person- weight or otherwise. So just really show that you are there and care. Make it noticed and get some food in her! Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (14 March 2007):
 Continue being a friend to her. Let you know these guys weren't worth it and didn't deserve her. The so called girl friends that she had were very shallow and they too aren't worth knowing. Reassure her and tell her her good points! Do things together and enjoy life with her. Show her these links to build up her confidence and self esteem. Do the self esteem test together and talk about how you can both help one another to improve your self esteem.
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
You seem a lovely friend to have and I'm sure with your help and reassurance she'll soon be back to her normal happy self.
Eve
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